The dancing policeman
A BRITISH bobby has been caught on camera dancing with gusto in the street during the recent Notting Hill Carnival, in London. A colleague behind him enthusiastically beats time to the reggae with his arms.
Coming so soon after the rioting and looting elsewhere in London, it seems remarkable. Footage of the rhythmically nimble – though definitely middle-aged - cop and his colleague has now found its way onto YouTube and the response of viewers has been overwhelmingly positive, one declaring that the two should get pay rises.
"Hey, officer, you wanna come back to my place?"
"Er, not on duty, ma'am!"
Bar-room ammo
SOME information comes this way, which is passed on as ammo for bar-room discussions, bar-room quizzes and the game of Trivial Pursuits.
· Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's have them on the left? - When buttons were invented, they were expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it's easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right. That's where they've remained.
· Why do ships and aircraft use "mayday" as their call for help? - It comes from the French word m'aidez, meaning "help me'"—and, which is pronounced approximately as "mayday."
· Why are zero scores in tennis and squash called "love"? - In France, where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called "l'oeuf" (egg). When tennis went to the US, Americans mispronounced it "love".
· Why do Xs at the end of a letter signify kisses? - In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfil obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.
· Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called "passing the buck"? - In card games it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to deal, he would "pass the buck" to the next player.
· Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast? – Long ago, to show a guest that his drink was not poisoned, it became customary for a small amount of it to be poured into the glass of the host. Both would drink simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.
· Why is someone who is feeling great "on Cloud Nine"? - Types of cloud are numbered according to altitude, with nine the highest. Someone on Cloud Nine floats well above worldly cares.
· In golf, where did "caddie" come from? - When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, King Louis had the first course outside of Scotland built for her. To make sure she was properly guarded while she played, Louis detailed cadets from a military school. When Mary returned to Scotland, she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced "caday" and the Scots changed it to "caddie".
Essex Gals
THE ESSEX Girl has in so many ways come to personify the modern English beauty – brash, busty, leggy, usually blonde, togged out in the latest gear, lotsa fun and often in tow with footballers, rock stars and other celebs around the clubs and discos. Not one of these boring types who are reading philosophy somewhere.
Now they've produced an Essex Girl perfume. Towie (The Only Way Is Essex – named for the TV show) is to be marketed big this Christmas.
What fragrance captures the essence of an Essex Girl? That's still under wraps.
But I'll hazard a guess. A subtle hint of fish 'n chips with vinegar as overlay to a medley of disco sweat, lager, cigarette smoke and depth-charge shooters.
Go, Trace, go!
Tailpiece
THIS fellow goes into a doctor's surgery. He has baked beans in his hair, fried egg down the front of his shirt and two sausages sticking out of his front pocket.
Doctor: "What's the problem?"
Patient: "I'm not eating properly."
Last word
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.
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