Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Idler, Thursday, September 22, 2011

In search of happiness

WHAT is the nature of happiness? It's a deep philosophical question which I'm glad to find tackled by none other than John Vigor, my old shipmate who wrote this very column many years ago and was a mainstay of Point Yacht Club, where I also hoist a pint from time to time.

John is now stationed at Bellingham, just beneath the Canadian border on the west coast of America, and is still very much involved in yachting. He blogs a regular column, a recent one advising a reader who signs himself "Disillusioned."

"For more than 20 years I have been kept going by my dream of finally taking off into the blue on my yacht, of finding the happiness I have dreamed of for so long. Now you tell me that the success rate among people who plan to go long-term cruising is only 35 to 40 percent. I can't stand the thought that I've been waiting and preparing in vain. Why is the cruiser drop-out rate 60 percent? What makes them unhappy?"

John replies: "The first thing is that most people need a goal when they go cruising. They need to feel they have a plan, that they are making progress and that they will eventually accomplish something worthwhile. But too many people don't put enough thought into creating a goal. They believe they can just take off into the sunset with a champagne glass in hand and find happiness on the way. They can't.

"The second thing is that they don't understand what happiness is. It's not the evanescent feeling of joy and laughter you get from watching the clowns. It's not non-stop smiles and jokes. It's far deeper and longer-lasting than that.

"Democritus, one of the leading Greek philosophers, taught that the goal of life is happiness.

"So what is happiness then? Democritus described it as a state of mind, an inner condition of tranquillity, a harmony of the soul, a combination of reflection and reason ... in fact, what amounts to serenity.

"My own theory is that happiness is serendipitous. It sneaks up on you and ambushes you when you're quietly going about your normal day-to-day cruising activities. If you set out purposely to pursue happiness, it flees in front of you and you can never catch it. But ignore it and it will creep back and embrace you."

I like it. John can chalk up another one I owe him. Splice the mainbrace!

Greasy grub

SAUDI-Arabian motor mechanic Mohammad Omar enjoys snacking and slukking on the job. According to this news snippet, he says he drinks between two and four cans of engine oil a day and eats 2.5kg of grease.

I know there are probably fellows out there would say that sounds just like their landlady's cooking but actually this is excessive intake of greasy food, even though Omar tries to balance it out by drinking radiator water, battery acid and brake fluid.

Where does he get roughage into his diet? Does he collect slivers of white metal from the crankshaft bearings?

We're not told if Omar smokes. If he does, he needs to detach his lips from the car exhaust forthwith. His lifestyle is unhealthy enough as it is.

Tarantulas online

STAFF at Chessington Zoo, in London, are puzzled by a large, hairy tarantula that was handed over to them by a woman who said it arrived with an order she had made online. It was there in the bottom of the box.

They are still baffled as to what species it is, though they think it might be an African baboon spider. "It's very fast, it's very aggressive, and it's very big," says Rob Ward, who has taken charge of the creature and of discovering what it is. It is being fed on insects, though it is believed its diet in the wild might include lizards and small mammals.

Those handling it wear gloves because nobody knows if its bite is poisonous.

Suggestion: They should check it for radioactivity. As we all know, the Amazing Spiderman got his powers from being bitten by a radioactive spider. This could be the effective counter to London's inner-city rioting.

 

Tailpiece

WOULD a pun about a Mexican long-haired chihuahua puppy qualify as a short shaggy dog story?

Last word

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

Josh Billings

 

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