Rugby spectacular
THE OPENING ceremony of the Rugby World Cup in Auckland was absolutely superb – lasers, holographs, illusion, music and sound.
The tattooed buttocks of the Maori warriors were an inspiration and a challenge to the body artwork of Florida Road on a Friday night. The simulation of erupting volcanoes was a simply awesome manipulation of light beams.
The Boks and their management need to be on the alert. The All Blacks clearly are now possessed of the technology to win a match by illusion, ghosting holographs all over the place, putting our defences at sixes and sevens. Who can tackle a holograph?
I feel a humdinger is coming up.
Good try
MEANWHILE, the trophy they play for is, of course, the William Webb Ellis. It was Webb Ellis who, all those years ago at Rugby School, picked up the ball and ran with it, starting the game of rugby union.
Reader Valerie Johnson suggests that's how the word "try" came about. Webb Ellis dived into the goalmouth and as he lay there panting, clutching the ball to his chest, became aware of his headmaster staring at him.
"Is it a goal, Sir?".
"No, but it was a bloody good try!"
It's a good yarn but what in fact happened in the early days of rugby was that no points were awarded for crossing the opponent's goal-line. It merely gave you the right to "try" for points with a goal-kick – what we today call a conversion.
The word was not a corruption of "tri" or "trois" (as I'd once believed), coming from the three points a try used to be worth.
Yet in Afrikaans they still call it a "drie", in spite of its being worth five points today. Old traditions die hard – dis 'n blerrie goeie drie!
Reader's query (1)
READER Linda Vandeverre notes an advertisement in this newspaper which invites "interesting parties" to apply to rent a storage yard in Greyville.
"I wonder how interesting you have to be to rent a storage yard in Greyville?"
The answer, Linda, is that if you arrive in a clown's outfit riding a pogo stick, playing a mouth organ and trailing a yellow balloon, you've as good as got the lease signed.
That's if you arrive first. Greyville abounds in such interesting parties.
Reader's query (2)
READER Colin Plen wonders who checks our comics section. He says the other day Hagar the Horrible and Clancy had virtually the same joke.
"In both cases the character says he did not know what happiness was before becoming a farmer/getting married and by then it was too late."
Colin, that's double value. A good joke is worth repeating in a different guise. It's also what they call synchronicity, a coincidence sanctioned by the Cosmos. Feel privileged!
Reader's query (3)
AND FINALLY, Jim Spencer of Margate says last week's bit about Vincent van Gogh's family tree was designed to amuse only Americans, who pronounce the name "Van Go".
"Most of us in South Africa pronounce Van Gogh with a little 'gh' sound at the end - rather like preparing to clear the throat of some excess phlegm.
"Some Sassenachs pronounce it 'goff', but most people give it the 'ch' sound at the end of 'loch'. All agree that it's Nough Gough for Van Go."
Jim has a valid point but I feel we must not be parochial. The Mercury has an online E-edition which is read daily by Barack Obama and millions of his fellow-Americans.
Gogh man gogh!
Tailpiece
A WALLABY, an All Black, a spectacular blonde and an older woman are sharing a compartment on a train. The train enters a dark tunnel, and suddenly there is an unmistakable "slap!" When they leave the tunnel, the Wallaby has a big red slap mark on his cheek.
The blonde thinks: "That horrible Wallaby tried to touch me. By mistake he put his hand on the other lady, who slapped his face."
The older woman thinks: "That dirty Wallaby laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him."
The Wallaby thinks: "That bloody All Black put his hand on the blonde and by mistake she slapped me."
The All Black thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid Wallaby again."
Last word
I prefer rugby to soccer. I enjoy the violence in rugby, except when they start biting each other's ears off. - Elizabeth Taylor
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