Drama in the Maghreb
EVENTS in Egypt recall one of those classically terse cables between head office and the man on the spot, that have become part of the lore of newspapers.
It was the early 1950s and things seemed quiet in Cairo. Two foreign correspondents took girlfriends for a weekend on the Great Bitter Lakes.
They returned to find that a group of army officers, led by Colonel Gamal Nasser, had forced King Farouk to abdicate. They had missed the whole story.
A cable from the newsdesk read: "Farouk resigned. What your plans?"
Gingindlovu
HISTORIAN Peter Quantrill supplies the origin of the name Gingindlovu, raised in this column last week.
"You are quite right in that the British troops, during the second invasion of Zululand, having camped in the Gingindlovu area, failed miserably in their attempt to pronounce the word; hence they referred to it as 'Gin, gin I love you.' Typical Tommy humour.
"You are also correct in saying that the real derivation is: 'He, who swallows the elephant.' This came about when in 1856 civil war broke out in Zululand. King Mapande's two sons, Cetshwayo and Mbuyazi, fought for the succession to the Zulu throne. A bloody battle was fought at Ndondakusuka , in which no quarter was asked. The result was the death of Mbuyazi and his 7 000 followers who included women and children.
"Now it so happened that Mbuyazi had a tuft of hair growing out just under his neck, that caused him to be known by the Zulus as the 'Elephant.' On Cetshwayo's triumph, he built a homestead on a hill north-east and not far from the present town that was subsequently burnt by the British.
"He triumphantly named it 'Gingindlovu', or 'He who swallowed the Elephant'."
Row your boat
THREE and a half-year-old Simone Blitenthall, of Kloof, listened to her mum and dad talking about canoeists being bothered by crocodiles in the Umgeni River. Then she adapted a nursery ditty:
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
When you see a crocodile,
Don't forget to scream!
That's very good.
Financial currents
A FAST food company attributes improved business to the heavy rains that chased people indoors to the malls and shops. It sort of makes sense, says financial analyst Dr James Greener in his latest grumpy newsletter.
"I spent a few days near the mouth of the flooding Umfolozi River. The muddy torrent flowing into the sea was so strong that the waves were completely brown and choked with vegetation washed down from the countryside.
"Fishing was out of the question but the fridge in the bar to which I retreated was in perfect working order."
Eyebrows
I told this girl she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked pretty surprised.
Questions, questions
SOME legitimate questions:
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Tailpiece
A WEALTHY playboy offers the beautiful girl a glass of wine. "Port or sherry?"
"Oh sherry by all means. To me it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I am transported into another world.
"Port, on the other hand, gives me wind."
Last word
Violence can only be concealed by a lie, and the lie can only be maintained by violence. Any man who has once proclaimed violence as his method is inevitably forced to take the lie as his principle. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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