and ashes in
our cricket
WOE is us. Sackcloth and ashes. Cricket collapso! A wailing and gnashing of teeth. Why this debacle? The nation needs answers.
After winning the First Test in fine style and giving a pretty good account of ourselves in the Second, taking play well into the fifth day, fortunes seesawing, suddenly it's humiliation and embarrassment in the Third and Fourth.
Worse, all the good that was done in the First and Second to prove so conclusively that Test cricket is the real thing with fluctuating fortunes and an exciting sense of anything can happen – all that good is undermined. The punters will be tempted to look instead to carnival cricket – played with a white ball in pyjamas – as the real thing.
Tantalisingly, there was a time early in our second innings when it looked as if our batsmen were going to pull something off – if not a marathon chase and win, at least something respectable. But then – collapso!
Disappointment is widespread. As raconteur Spyker Koekemoer – aka Pat Smythe - puts it:"This Proteas side need net practice in Kirstenbosch Gardens amongst the pansies …disgraceful!"
Harsh, to be sure, but the widespread disillusionment is real. So real that Ian Gibson, poet laureate of Hillcrest, fires off both barrels – he sends in two limericks.
Left barrel:
A once proud team called Proteas,
Is driving us all to sad tears;
The batting's appalling
And catches keep falling,
Whilst the Poms earn more and more cheers.
Right barrel:
An ordinary seamer called Wokes,
Bewildered some of our blokes;
But it was Ben Stokes
Who did in Faf's okes,
Then Wood dashed the rest of our hopes.
What's to be done? Let's not get hysterical and ask for the new cricket leadership figures, Graeme Smith, Jacques Kallis and Mark Boucher to be recalled to the side as players.
Let's not hand the whole thing to the Minister of Sport, for him to put a former CEO of Eskom in charge of selection and coaching.
Let us rather grit our teeth and allow Smith, Kallis and Boucher the opportunity to finish what they have only just begun - build morale, find new talent and develop the winning mindset which is so obviously lacking right now, with an eye on the West Indies later in the year.
The skills are there. It's a question of assembling them and developing the right mindset. It's the kop that's lacking.
Positive old age
DURBAN poet Sarita Mathur sends in some encouraging lines on growing old.
Don't lose heart
Old age is near.
Live healthily,
Exercise well ,
And age will not tell.
You can still enjoy your whisky
And have a tot of rum as well.
You can travel all you want
If you have the travel yen.
If you want to chill and relax
You have the right.
Do not be afraid , dear friend .
Live in the present
Let it be a delight
Welcome old age.
It's your birthright .
Tailpiece
WEIGHT loss tip: If you cannot help it and have to stuff your face with food, do it standing naked in front of a mirror. The restaurant will chuck you out before you've swallowed too much.
Last word
Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. - Ambrose Bierce
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