Do we have
here a royal
parallel?
IS THERE a parallel between Prince Harry's startling announcement - that he and Meghan are going to stand down from royal duties in Britain and remove themselves to "North America" - and the abdication of King Edward VIII back in 1936?
Superficially at least, there seems to be. Both involved marriage to an American woman. Both have caused shock and even outrage.
Edward wanted to marry "the woman I love", Wallis Simpson, who was about to conclude her second divorce and was considered by the Establishment to be totally unsuitable
Harry has married his lady but it seems they want to fashion a life together that is totally removed from the traditional role.
Edward married his lady and was made Duke of Windsor and Governor of the Bahamas, before retiring to France with her for the rest of his days.
Harry and Meghan? Only time will tell – but the odds are surely against his becoming Governor-General of the Bahamas then retiring to France.
Meteorology
Oh! We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave,
The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising,
She certainly can can-can.
She started a heatwave by letting her seat wave,
In such a way that the customers say
That she certainly can can-can …
MAYBE Irving Berlin was on to something. It bears an investigation of the Wonder Lounge and the other exotic dancing joints of Durban by the meteorological service.
It's the sort of investigation that has to be thorough and unstinting, probably lasting several weeks and with adequate numbers of personnel involved. We need to know exactly what's causing his tropical heatwave phenomenon in the sub-tropics.
Wow, its hot! What's it going to be like in February? A compilation comes this way:
You know it's hot in Durban when:
· The best parking spot is determined by shade, not distance.
· Hot water comes out of both taps.
· You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
· You can get sunburn through your windscreen.
· You develop a fear of metal door handles.
· Your biggest bicycle accident fear is "What if I get knocked over and get cooked on the road?".
· The trees are whistling for dogs.
· You laugh because this list is so accurate.
I started this heatwave in such a way that
The customers say that I certainly can can-can …
Yes, Irving Berlin knew all there was to know about meteorology.
Horrid bombardment
VULTURES are not the most appealing birds in spite of their vital role in the balance of nature. To the people of Kingsville, a border point in Texas, "unappealing" doesn't get anywhere near it, according to Huffington Post.
They've taken over a US Customs and Border Protection radio tower and are using it as a roost. From there they regurgitate a reeking and corrosive vomit onto buildings below. They vary this bombardment with droppings and urine.
Vultures are not top of the pops in Kingsville, Texas. But they're protected by law.
Solution: the authorities are putting nets on the radio tower to keep them off it. They'll have to find another roost. Hey – why not in Mexico?
Tailpiece
JIMMY and Wullie, two Scots entertainers, have had dinner in a posh restaurant. The waiter approaches with the bill.
Says Jimmy: "Put away yer money, Wullie, this is on me."
Newspaper headline next day: "Scottish ventriloquist found strangled in back alley."
Last word
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. - Anatole France
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