Monday, January 6, 2020

The Idler, Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Rescue drama

in Durban

neighbourhood

GREAT excitement the other night in Toledo Avenue, Glenwood, as a fire engine suddenly came charging into the avenue, pulling up outside a house in the pitch dark.

Firemen deployed into the garden of the house, shining torches. Next came a fire hose.

But a puzzle. Where was the fire? No flames were to be seen, no smoke.

The scene is described to me by a lady who was watching from her upstairs flat across the road.

The firemen were busy doing something with the hose. Then suddenly, in the gutter across the road, came a splash of water. One of the firemen pounced on the splash and triumphantly held aloft a tiny kitten that came out in the splash.

The kitten had been trapped in a narrow drain that ran from the garden into the gutter. The fire hose was used to squirt it out.

The house occupant had heard the kitten mewing helplessly and phoned the fire brigade to ask if they could help. They obliged in fine style.

My informant understands that the kitten was taken to the SPCA by the householder.

One hears often of firemen rescuing cats, dogs and other creatures in distress, quite apart from their firefighting duties. It's heartening to know the tradition continues here in Durban, in spite of all kinds of other things going wrong at local level.

 

 

Romantic moment

 

NO BACKGROUND violins as this fellow popped the question, just fireworks.

It happened outside a movie theatre in Howell, New Jersey, in the US, according to Huffington Post. This fellow was planning to propose marriage to his girlfriend where she worked in a shop beside the theatre.

He thought firecrackers would enliven the occasion so he arranged with a friend to set off a string of them outside the shop, just as he was down on one knee.

But this is contemporary America. A string of firecrackers can sound like something else. People queuing for the movie took it as yet another nutcase gunman incident and hit the deck as they keyed in the police emergency number on their smartphones.

The Fuzz arrived to find a great deal of confusion and panic but no casualties and just a string of exploded firecrackers. The theatre manager pointed out the 23-year-old culprit, who explained what he'd been about – just providing some background effect for his pal's romantic moment inside the the shop.

The Howell cops do not lack a romantic streak. Noting the incident on their Facebook page, they said there was no intent to cause panic at the theatre. No injuries were reported. "Obviously this was a very poor decision rather than an overt act."

The fellow was booked for a minor fireworks infraction and disorderly conduct.

We're not told whether the other's chap's proposal was accepted. Did the gal fling herself into his arms for protection as the fireworks went off?. All things considered, violins are more conventional.

 

 

Tailpiece

A DRUNK staggers out of the bar just as a fire engine races past, siren wailing, lights flashing.

He gives chase, running as fast as he can for two blocks. Then he collapses in a heap, gasping for breath.


In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine: "If that's the way you want it, keep your damn ice creams!"

 

Last word

For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum. - JW Schopf

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