You don't know what to believe
IS HE A mystic possessed of psycho-kinetic and telepathic powers, possibly derived from Outer Space? Or is he just a very proficient stage magician? Spoon-bender Uri Geller himself seems to hover between the two opinions, no doubt profiting by this sense of mystery.
Now, according to records recently declassified and released, it emerges that Geller's abilities were once tested by America's CIA, to see if they could be weaponised,
According to Sky News, Geller was tested for a week at Stanford Research Centre in 1973. A scientist would pick a word at random from a dictionary, then draw a picture of that word and stick it on the door of a sealed room in which Geller sat. He would then be asked to himself draw the same image, using his paranornal powers.
Some of the results were a bit shaky. But some were brilliantly accurate – a bunch of grapes, the solar system and a swan.
The CIA's conclusion: "As a result of Geller's success in this experimental period, we consider that he has demonstrated his paranormal perception ability in a convincing and unambiguous manner."
Wow! Yet several stage magicians claim to have replicated Geller's spoon-bending and so forth, using stage trickery.
I once saw Geller on stage in Johannesburg. He did seem to bend spoons without touching them; stop and then restart watches from people in the audience.
Later it transpired that I was wearing frilly knickers. The lady who had watched the show with me had on my tartan Y-fronts. You just don't know what to believe.
Good augury
THE Gambia is a tiny wedge of a country on the West Coast of Africa. It's had a very close call, democracy holding out in the face of authoritarianism – through military pressure from the country's Ecowas neighbours. It's an encouraging augury in contemporary Africa.
Newly elected leader Adama Barrow says he foresees the closest relationship with Britain through the Commonwealth and older ties.
Theresa May and Boris Johnson will no doubt be greatly relieved. Having kicked France, Germany and Italy in the teeth – as well as the other 24 member nations of the European Union – the Brits need all the friends they can get.
Normality
NEWS from America. Chelsea Wilson, of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, asked her dad for a lift into town for a job interview. He dropped her off and wished her luck.
But then, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel, she covered her blonde locks with a red wig, put on sunglasses and marched into a bank with a gun. She handed the teller a handwritten note: "You have exactly one minute to give me all your $50 and $100 bills from both your drawers or I will shoot you! No dye packs, no alarms. Follow these instructions and no one will get hurt, act normal."
She got a haul of $300 (R4 080) and then went shopping for groceries.
But an eye-witness had recognised her as being wanted for four other robberies. He tipped off the police and they arrested Chelsea while she was still in town going about her business.
Such normality, such abnormality.
Courtroom flash
IT'S all happening in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Susan Surette, an escort and porn actress who trades under the name, "Kayla Kupcakes", was in court charged with disorderly intoxication. Her films include Private Stuffers 1, Sexcretaries and Mature Thunder Buns 1, according to Huffington Post.
During the hearing, she alleged she was the victim of police brutality and as evidence lifted her shirt to flash her boobs at the judge.
The judge then ordered her to undergo a mental examination.
Maybe one day he'll write his memoirs.
Cheers!
ROB Nicolai, Howick's resident theoretical physicist, suggests that brewing conglomerate AB Inbev should sponsor the Proteas.
"Not just because AB de Villiers bears a similar name to the brewing giant but it could be David Miller time as well. The Proteas T20 side now has a Heino Kuhn which is very like Heineken."
He also wants the leg beerfore wicket rule amended.
Something seems to be on Rob's mind. Is there perhaps a beer drought in Howick?
Tailpiece
A POLE is having his eyesight tested. The optician shows him a wall chart with the letters CKOPVWXSCZY.
"Can you read that?"
"Read it? I know the guy!"
Last word
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. - Milton Friedman
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