An inauguration we can't ignore
TOMORROW the world changes. Donald Trump gets sworn in as President of the US and nothing will be the same again anywhere in the world – not even in Isipingo.
America has had its oddball presidents. There was Tricky Dicky, whose aides organised a burglary of the offices of his political opponents, a scandal which eventually drove him from office – yet not before he'd got the troops out of Vietnam and opened relations with China.
There was Jimmy Carter the naïve do-gooder who was humiliated in Iran – he got the Ayatollah in place of the Shah – and delayed the ending of apartheid in South Africa by at least a decade.
There was George Dubya orchestrating what developed into the current disaster zone of the Middle East.
But all of them operated within certain known and trusted parameters. They were all of them 100% committed to Nato, which has successfully kept the peace since World War II. They used diplomacy within accepted rules. They played canny chess with the Soviets, who later morphed back into being the Russians. Everyone knew where they stood. There was a certain equilibrium.
From tomorrow there's a fellow who's ambivalent about Nato, appears to have contempt for his own security establishment, is not very articulate, is personally combative, appears already to be at odds with members of his newly-nominated cabinet and has a habit of sending out sometimes incendiary tweets to the world in the early hours. Will World War III be declared on Twitter?
This is a very different style. It's difficult to know who's more nervous – his nominal allies in Nato or his supposed new friends elsewhere. Only one thing is certain – from tomorrow things will be different.
Satirist Andy Borowitz has been having fun in the New Yorker. The karaoke machine engaged to perform at tomorrow's inauguration has abruptly backed out. Vladimir Putin has banned all Meryl Streep movies from Russia, following her public denunciation of Trump. The president-elect himself has scolded his security men for going after Russia when the "very real threat" is from Hollywood actresses.
But from tomorrow it's different. Will anyone be laughing about anything in six months' time?
Dossier
ANOTHER unsettling factor is this dossier that's doing the rounds, prepared by a former MI6 officer. Apparently just about every member of Congress has already seen it.
If there's the merest smidgeon of truth in it – quite apart from the lurid allegations of sexual shenanigans – that must surely come out. It would convulse America in a way to make Watergate and Vietnam look like picnics.
When America catches cold, we get pneumonia. Maybe Isipingo is the place to be after all.
Coming home
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection and a little tenderness? It means you've come home to the wrong house."
Advocacy
RETIRED headmaster (and consummate legspin bowler) Tom Lambert says he thoroughly enjoyed the anecdotal memories this week of retired Judge Chris Niocholson of his days as an advocate in Windhoek. They reminded him of an advocate friend he had in Maritzburg in days of yore.
"This fellow appeared one morning defending a motorist who had been caught in a speed trap. Through sheer intellectual brilliance, he won his case, getting his client off scot-free.
"That afternoon he appeared for the prosecution in another case – involving a motorist who had been caught in a speed trap. Through sheer intellectual brilliance he won his case. The fellow was found guilty and slapped with a hefty fine.
"Asked afterwards how he justified presenting two opposite arguments on the same day – and winning – he said: "In the morning I thought I was right. In the afternoon I knew I was right."
He got the guineas – right!
Tailpiece
THIS fellow tells the doctor the "thrill" has gone out of his marriage. What's gone wrong?
The doc says he needs to build up his stamina. He must jog 10km a day for 30 days, then report back.
He gets a call from his patient. "Wow, thanks Doc, it worked. I feel great."
"And your love life?"
"Heck, how would I know? I'm 300km from home."
Last word
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
No comments:
Post a Comment