UFO squelcher in UK
THE BRITISH Ministry of Defence has released files to explain why it closed its UFO desk and hotline. It seems they served "no defence purpose" and in 50 years, the MOD said, no "sighting" had revealed anything to suggest an extra-terrestrial presence or military threat.
Sightings include:
· A letter from a school child to the MoD after she had seen strange lights. She included a drawing of an alien waving from a UFO.
· Somebody who had been "living with an alien" in Carlisle for a time; another from a man in Cardiff who claimed a UFO abducted his dog, car and tent while he was camping.
· UFOs over the Houses of Parliament, Stonehenge and Blackpool Pier.
They include cases where UFOs were seen by police officers, chased by pilots and tracked on radar. But the MoD says it has no opinion as to the existence or otherwise of extraterrestials .
Dismay
THE CLOSURE of the UFO desk has caused dismay to enthusiasts but not dampened their zeal.
Hardly were the files released when people were talking on British TV about the strange case of Air Marshal Sir Peter Horsely, a highly decorated RAF officer, who claimed that in the 1950s he spent two hours in a London flat chatting to an extraterrestrial named Jason who displayed the disconcerting ability to read his thoughts.
Jason apparently wanted to meet the Duke of Edinburgh as a man who understood the need for a balance beween man and nature.
We're not told if Jason ever got to meet the Duke - but it's a strange story all the same.
Rosetta case
THEN there was our own Elizabeth Klarer, the Rosetta lady who said she had her first encounter with a flying saucer at the age of seven; later travelled to the planet Meton in the Alpha Centauri solar system; took a lover by the name of Akon; and bore him a son named Ayling. Then she returned to the Midlands
The mind, senor, does she not boggle?
Lewd and lascivious
MORE on the so-called pink card controversy of the weekend's rugby Test against Samoa, as discussed yesterday
A senior advocate informs me thus: "The grabbing of Strauss's testicles would constitute a sexual or indecent assault in South African criminal law. In rugby such lewd and lascivious conduct is considered to be an act contrary to good sportsmanship under Law 10.4 (m)."
It's amazing the depth of quality information you glean at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties."
G8 blues
PRESIDENT Barack Obama repeatedly referred to British Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne as "Jeffrey" at the recent G8 summit in Northern Ireland. It seems he was confusing him with American rhythm and blues singer Jeffrey Osborne. Obama later apologised.
Jeffrey Osborne (the singer) was delighted by the mix-up however. "Tell the Chancellor when I come over I will have to hook up with him and we will do a duet of On The Wings Of Love, or something."
The Chancellor responded on Twitter: "One unexpected breakthrough from G8 - offer to sing with legend Jeffrey Osborne. Jeff you wouldn't suggest a duet if you'd heard me sing."
He's too modest. Obama recognises talent when he sees it. And a politician never knows when he might have to look to a new career.
They cain't dance well, they ain't got no shoes,
Two ol' dawgs named Rhythm an' Blues …
Crash!
WORKMEN drop in, cows drop in. Twelve-year-old Maya Pur was watching cartoons in her family home in Philadelphia, in the US, when a workman came crashing through the ceiling and landed on her.
He had been fixing a leak in the roof. Maya suffered broken fingers and concussion but it could have been worse.
The other side of the Atlantic in Devon, England, a cow came crashing through the roof of a farmer's garage and landed in a vehicle inspection pit, from which it had to be rescued.
How it got on the roof is anybody's guess.
What cartoons was Maya watching? Animated nursery rhymes perhaps?
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It seems the only logical explanation.
Tailpiece
THERE'S this fellow who's been diagnosed as a psychoceramic – a real crackpot.
Last word
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
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