Friday, July 5, 2013

The Idler, Monday, July 1, 2013

Alas, fool's gold

IT SEEMS last week's musings on the gold flecks to be found in the sands of the Nsuze River, in the Nkandla district, were fanciful. They are not gold, they are iron pyrites (mica), fool's gold.

 

Okay, I get da message. It comes from reader RJ Gaisford who spent the mid-70s and early 80s in the district on a mineral exploration programme for a Johannesburg-based mining company.

 

"What you most likely saw in the Insuze River, presumably at the drift with its beautiful pool on the corner below the cliffs on the road to Qudeni, was flecks of mica, commonly found in sand in the rivers there."

 

He says there was a gold rush some years ago a few hundred metres upstream from that spot. Matchboxes full of "gold" were being sold by diggers for many rands. But, sadly, it all turned out to be fool's gold.

 

"Gold is not easily seen. It is heavy and sinks into sediments at the bottom of pools. But some few kilometres upstream of the drift, in a stream draining a plateau to the west of the Nsuze, and below Qudeni, I once did get colour in my pan. Quite exciting."

 

Mr Gaisford does not quite share the enthusiasm of another reader, John Burger, and myself for the scenic beauty of Nkandla and its forest. "It was just too wet and green. The hills were hardly rolling, more precipice than anything else. The beautiful forest is home to thorny vine, nettles and wasps."

 

However, he vouches for the conviviality of  the Nkandla Hotel bar with Oom Vossie and others, including the local magistrate, and "the best meals ever" supplied by Tant Emm.

 

He laments the demise of the hotel, which now stands an abandoned ruin. I concur. And I also marvel at the good fortune of somebody spending years wandering about the hills and forests of Nkandla, panning the rivers and streams – and being paid for it. Some people have all the luck. Even if it is mainly fool's gold.

 

 

Jungle man

 

TARZAN comes to Kings Park. Sharks flanker Jean Deysel cut an impressive figure on Saturday as he played through several phases stripped from the waist after an Auckland player ripped off his jersey in a tackle.

 

Deysel played on manfully, mixing it in the rucks and mauls, running and passing with the threequarters, putting in tackles. You really notice a man when he has no jersey.

 

If he beat his chest and uttered the Tarzan yell – "Ayee-yayee-yayo-o-o-o!" – as Riaan Viljoen dotted down the winning try, it was lost in the roars of the crowd. What a pity it couldn't have been Deysel himself – it would have made a wonderful photograph.

 

Auditioning for Jane begins this week.

 

Streakers

 

THE ABOVE recalls the days of the streakers, in particular the time a Bloemfontein fellow dressed just in his socks tackled a Western Province winger, saving the game for Free State.

 

The SABC had a policy of ignoring streakers. But listeners to the Afrikaans radio commentary were startled to suddenly hear: "En hy word deur die kaal man gevat!" (And he's tackled by the naked man!)

 

Some things you just can't ignore.

 

 

Over-Sixties?

 

READER Allie Peter says the recent "petrolhead" extravaganza so blocked traffic that he and his pals were unable to get to the Umgeni River for canoeing training.

 

"This resulted in a very necessary pit stop at your favourite street shelter. After a very pleasant number of libations, in a most convivial environment, we came to the conclusion that a name change (very common in the Durban area) is necessary in the interest of truth and alliteration: 'Street Shelter for the Over Sixties'."

 

Yes, there are different schools of thought on this. One believes the present age description makes us look like a kindergarten. But there's also an exuberant bunch of 55-year-olds who do not wish to be excluded – and they're barred from all the other hostelries anyway.

 

We will have to give this our attention.

 

 

 

Tailpiece

"I want a bra for my wife."

"What size?"

"Seven and a half."

"Seven and a half? How do you come up with a size like that?"

"I measured with my hat."

Last word

Never go out to meet trouble. If you will just sit still, nine cases out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.

Calvin Coolidge

 

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