Durban's No Gear event
READERS have welcomed the suggestion that the recent Naked Bike Ride in Mexico City should be replicated in Durban as a follow-up to Top Gear.
Mary Ann Grafetsberger, doughty champion of the interests of vervet monkeys, says she has neither the figure nor the bicycle to take part but she would be happy to lead the parade in a sidecar.
She also suggests that, to highlight the need for harmony with the animals that share our urban space, participants should take their pets with them on the ride – being cautious, of course, about claws and paws.
Ken Gillings suggests that the event should be called No Gear.
This surge of civic consciousness and pride is most heartening. I wonder if Mary Ann would be prepared to train a troop of vervets to ride bicycles in the parade.
Throwback
A BRITISH and Irish Lions tour is always a kind of throwback to an era in rugby that has otherwise passed. A strong national side (in the Lions' case multi-national) touring another rugby nation, playing strong provincial sides who throw everything at them but the kitchen sink; enthusiasm building to a crescendo as a Test series approaches.
So it was in Sydney at the weekend as the Waratahs took on the Lions in an absolutely thrilling encounter not entirely reflected in the Lions' eventual margin of victory. The stadium was jam-packed. It seemed perfectly natural that the Aussie commentator should slip into the terminology of yesteryear, describing the Waratahs as "New South Wales".
Compare it with our current concoction of "double-header" Tests played in zero atmosphere before half-empty stadiums (Well, in Durban anyway). The punters know the real deal.
Bad handling
MEANWHILE, reader Dave Cousens detects in the distressing Plumtree affair a parallel with the well-known nursery rhyme.
Big John Smit sat in the pit
Consuming his contract pie;
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a Plum
And thought what a great guy am I!
Has our rugby ever known such handling errors?
Quality complaint
A MAN living in Solihull, in the West Midlands of England, dialled 999 – the police emergency number – and complained that a prostitute he hired was not as attractive as she had claimed.
He said he wanted to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act.
The West Midlands police say the complainant has now been warned in writing not to waste their time again.
'Tis a weird and wonderful world we live in.
Glam ad
AN ADVERTISEMENT on eBay of a second-hand Mercedes has a lady on the bonnet – not quite as glamorous as the models who the manufacturers drape on their fancy cars at motor shows. This lady is rather plain. To be brutally frank, she's also obese.
She is, the advertiser informs us, his "more to love" missus.
Fie! Is this not still more chauvinist, sexist, offensive and outrageous than the classically beautiful models draped over the bonnets at the motor shows?
Yet offers for the ageing and somewhat battered Merc have soared to an astonishing £152 000 (R2.3 million).
'Tis a weird and wonderful world we live in.
Ticket to run
SOME Cockney wit. Former track athlete Sebastian Coe (proper title Lord Coe – he organised the Olympics in Britain) tried to go into Lord's cricket ground, in London, by the members' gate, though his ticket was for another gate.
Coe: "Don't you know who I am?"
Gateman: "No, who are you?"
Coe: "I'm Sebastian Coe."
Gateman: "Are you? Well then, it won't take you long to run round to the Nursery End, they'll let you in there."
Hats off
IAN GIBSON, poet laureate of Hillcrest, pens some lines in support of Public Protector Thuli Madonsela, who had a hostile grilling from certain members of a parliamentary committee.
Hats off to our Public Protector,
Who stands up to MPs who hector;
Her honest approach,
Is beyond reproach,
Whilst her political detractors reject her.
Tailpiece
KOOS van der Merwe wakes up in hospital, wracked with pain and covered in bandages. Cousin Piet is sitting at his bedside.
"What happened?"
"Well, you had a few dops last night. Then you bet you could dive out the window and fly back in again."
"Why didn't you stop me?"
"Stop you? I had 50 bucks on you."
Last word
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
No comments:
Post a Comment