| Flying food tray A JAPANESE restaurant in Soho, London, has brought a new meaning to the term "fast food". Meals hurtle through the air toward customers on what is believed to be the world's first flying tray. Dubbed the iTray, the lightweight, carbon fibre gadget can travel at speeds of up to 11 metres per second (40km/h) and has a range of 50 metres. Waiters and waitresses at YO! Sushi guide the platter through the air by wifi, using an iPad app, while kitchen staff check that the food is delivered by watching real-time video feeds from two on-board cameras. "We're all about innovation and delivering a whole concept in an unusual and exciting way," says Robin Rowland, chief executive of YO! Sushi. "The iTray is a way for us to explain how exciting food can be." This is most impressive, though not entirely new in concept. At the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties, the chef specialises in hurling pizzas like a discus thrower while, late at night, items such as bras and knickers are also known to fly mysteriously through the air. However, wifi and iPad apps are not involved. They're a little old-fashioned at the Street Shelter. Deer bagged A SHERIFF'S deputy in the Florida Keys, in the US, was driving through the woods when he spotted what seemed to be a new species – a headless deer. It turned out though that the deer merely had a potato crisps bag over its head. Immobilised in its confusion, it allowed the deputy to approach and remove the bag – at which it was off like a flash. The deer - of the tiny Virginia white-tailed species – hadn't left a single crisp in the bag for the deputy. No tip. Game management can be a thankless task. Snaky stuff ALWAYS something new at St Clement's. At this week's soiree the charming Maren Bodenstein launched her novel, Shooting Snakes (Modjaji Books), and fielded questions on the technicalities and difficulties of writing and developing a plot. The book is set on a remote German mission station in Venda, switching from World War II to the present, and no doubt mirrors Maren's own experience growing up on a Lutheran mission station at Hermansburg, here in KZN. Somebody asked if the title refers to snakes being shot at, or the other way round. A fair question and now I can't wait to read it. Nothing brings tension to a story better than a boomslang with a Colt .45. Bright side THERE'S too much negativity about. Look on the bright side. A formulation comes this way, telling us South Africa – or Seffrika, as they call it – is still a great place to live. · You can eat half-dried meat and not be considered disgusting. · Nothing is your fault; you can blame it all on apartheid. · You get to buy a new car every three months and the insurance company pays out. · You can get pathetic service in all 11 official languages. · You get oranges with 45 percent alcohol content at rugby matches. · Striking workers are so angry they dance. · You're can use a cellphone, change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all while driving at 140 km/h in a 60 km/h zone. · The accents are lekker, ek se. · You decorate your garden walls with barbed wire. · Illegal immigrants leave voluntarily because the crime rate is too high. · Police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled. Ja-nee. This is the life! | |
Tailpiece
THEY'RE standing drinking at the bar. Somebody shouts: "Thirty-four!" The place erupts with laughter. Then somebody shouts: "Twenty-one!" More laughter.
Newcomer: "Excuse me, I don't get it. What's so funny?"
Barman: "Well, you see, these guys are all regulars. The same jokes have been going round for years. So they've numbered them to save time. Everyone recognises the joke by its number. Why don't you give it a try?"
The newcomer shouts: "Four hundred and twenty!"
The place is convulsed with laughter. People are falling about. The barman is crying into his apron.
"What did I say?"
Barman (wiping his eyes on the apron): "Oh my! That's priceless! None of us had heard that one before!"
Last word
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
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