Unsung Comrades hero
I WONDER if the Comrades Marathon organisers still watch Cyril Langlois like a hawk, the way they used to. He's in his eighties now but still capable of springing a surprise.
It was on an "up" run back in the early sixties when Cyril achieved glory. The race was to end that year with a lap around the cricket oval at Maritzburg Collegians. Jackie Mekler was well in the lead. It was before the days of television but radio commentary said Mekler was already approaching. He was in excellent time. It could be a new record.
Cyril, a convivial Maritzburg fellow of French Mauritian extraction, was in the bar at Collegians. So were a few runners who had dropped out of the race and been driven up to the finish. Their kit bags were stacked to one side. Negotiations ensued. A lift was arranged.
Next thing Cyril was pounding the streets about a kilometre ahead of Mekler, in proper running kit. Crowds lined the route and cheered: "Go, Jackie, go!"
He reached the Collegians oval (by now panting with unfeigned exhaustion). The crowds cheered him on. He began the circuit.
Then, 100m from the finish, he started to totter. He collapsed. He crawled a bit. Then he got up again, tottered forward; then he collapsed and crawled again. It was sensational stuff.
The crowd were hysterical: "Go, Jackie! Don't give up, you're nearly there, boy! Keep going!"
Cyril swayed to his feet again, staggered on and breasted the winning tape. The crowd were beside themselves. The newsreel man from African Mirror was filming every second of the drama (No TV of course).
The Mayor of Pietermaritzburg stood with outstretched hand to congratulate Cyril. But he smacked it aside and ran on into the bar.
The Comrades organisers were livid. When Mekler ran in a minute or two later, nobody noticed. The African Mirror man had shot off every bit of film he had.
The Comrades organisers accosted Cyril in the bar, threatening to call the police."
"The police? What for?"
"Trespassing!"
"Trespassing? Running down a public road? Running round the cricket oval of my own club?"
At which point the African Mirror fellow burst into the bar and had to be physically restrained from assaulting Cyril. A newsreel camera makes a nasty weapon.
For years after that a Comrades organiser made a point of dropping in at Cyril's office the day before the race.
"Cyril, don't even think about it!"
"Who me?" (Only a French Mauritian can fully convey the sense of pained injustice).
"Yes, you!"
I wonder if they're still watching him. We raise a glass to Cyril Langlois, unsung hero of the Comrades.
Apostrophes
ON MONDAY we had mention of a Maritzburg College headmaster of long ago, Septimus Pape, and his deputy, Errol Lammond, conversing in Latin.
This reminds former economics professor Gavin Maasdorp of a story concerning Pape that was told to him by a university colleague who had been a pupil and master at College.
Pape was friendly with Bill Payn, a College old boy and former Springbok rugby player (and legendary Comrades runner) who taught at DHS. Being rather pedantic, he sent Payn a letter addressed to "C Payn Esq, D'Urban High School".
Payn's response was a letter to "S P'Ape Esq, Maritzburg College".
Pape apparently was not amused.
Chemistry
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "They say love is a matter of simple chemistry. I tend to agree. It explains why my wife keeps treating me like toxic waste."
Damn car thieves!
TWO MEN ROBBED a Los Angeles Burger King outlet at gunpoint. But when they made their exit they found their getaway car had disappeared.
Flatfooted and looking rather foolish, the police picked them up without difficulty. Curse these car thieves!
Except it wasn't quite like that. A Burger King employee had managed to slip out undetected while the robbery was in process. Behind the store he found an unattended car with its engine running, the keys in the ignition. Realising this was the getaway vehicle, he drove off and parked it around the corner.
Never leave your vehicle unattended with the keys in the ignition. You're easy prey for honest folk.
Tailpiece
PADDY, Mick and Sean reel in a state of some confusion from the station bar to a train that is just pulling out. A helpful porter manages to bundle Paddy and Mick on board but Sean has tottered off in a different direction and it's now too late.
"I got your two friends on board, sir. You'll have to wait for the next train in an hour."
"Dat's very kind of yez, I'm sure. But dey won't be too pleased. Dey came down to see me off."
Last word
Sentimentality is the emotional promiscuity of those who have no sentiment.
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