Sound democratic principle
LET'S have no quibbling about this council measure to stop the media getting an advance look at agendas dealing with the way ratepayers' money is spent. Why should the hacks be given this unfair advantage? Why should anyone be interested anyway?
Let the ratepaying public learn of the way their money is spent, direct from the lips of the councillors in debate. Let them learn by way of soaring oratory what the real meaning is of what might well look dodgy when set out in black and white in the unimaginative way accountants have. Let us protect innocent ratepayers from misgivings as to the skill and probity of the city's financial management.
The so-called gagging is in fact a sound democratic principle. To behave otherwise would be perverse. Imagine if I were to give advance notice right now of my intention to reveal tomorrow details of the council's plans to slash rates by 50 percent; to reverse the street renaming in Durban; to save Vetch's beach for posterity; and to send a fact-finding mission to the Folies Bergere, in Paris, seeking a possible solution to the financial travails of Moses Mabhida Stadium?
No, the councillors – like anyone else – must wait and read about it in tomorrow's paper.
Shark drops in
GOLFERS at the 12th hole on a course in California were astonished when a leopard shark two feet long dropped out of the sky onto the green – splat! - and writhed about.
Puncture marks near the dorsal fin suggested it had been caught by a bird of prey then managed to wriggle free.
They took the shark back to the clubhouse where it was put in a bucket of salted water. Then a club employee took it to the ocean, about 8 km away, and released it. It lay in the water a few seconds then recovered and shot away.
Every golfer wants to score an eagle. So what if it's a fish eagle?
Boorishness
A WILD boar caused chaos at a bus station in China when it rampaged through an office, tried to escape through a window then shattered a glass door.
It happened in Shantou, in Guangdong province, and was captured on closed circuit TV.
The incident began when the boar ran into the waiting area, where it jumped on a chair and tried to smash the window. A cook on duty tried to scare it away with a chair but it grabbed the chair in its mouth.
Yes, some commuters are just pigs - too impatient to queue.
Croc caught
A HUGE crocodile has been recaptured by police in the Gaza Strip after escaping from a zoo two years ago. The 1.75m fellow had been living in a sewage pit near the town of Umm al-Nasir. Now he's been placed in a pond with four female crocodiles at a place called Beit Lahiya.
You never know your luck. One moment you're in a sewage pit, next you're sharing a pond with four lovelies.
We presume this croc will now be content. But should crocodiles be kept at all in a place beset by such human savagery as in the Gaza Strip? Crocodiles are peaceable and inoffensive creatures by comparison.
Idiot driver
A WOMAN in Ohio has been ordered by a court to wear an "idiot" sign after driving on a footpath to avoid a school bus picking up children. Shena Hardin, 32, will have to stand at a junction as a warning to others, after she was repeatedly caught on camera driving dangerously.
A judge at Cleveland Municipal Court told Hardin she would have to wear a sign saying: "Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus." She has to comply on two days.
It seems an appropriate punishment. Could it be tried here? We probably don't have enough signwriters.
Once upun a time
MORE puns. Hold your nose and swallow the medicine:
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
Stop pulling faces! It's good for you!
Tailpiece
WHAT happens when a jazz musician's clothes wear out? It's ragtime, baby!
Last word
To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
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