Pecadillos then and now
IT'S A CURIOUS business this David Petraeus scandal. The senior American general has resigned from his new post as head of the CIA because FBI agents investigating threatening SMS messages to an attractive female family friend discovered they originated from another woman who had written his biography, become his lover then become insanely jealous, believing the family friend had become his new lover.
This is complicated, even for the FBI. Exit David Petraeus. And now his successor in Afghanistan seems to be getting drawn in as well for sending "inappropriate e-mails" to one of the ladies involved.
Are pecadillos punishable in the American military these days? Or was there a security concern, of which we've not been told?
When General Dwight Eisenhower, commander-in-chief of the Allied forces, had an affair with Kate Summersby, the driver assigned to him by the Brits during World War II, nobody bothered much. They didn't cancel the D-Day landings or anything like that.
Kate went on to become his secretary and Eisenhower went on to become president. It seems he even tried to get a divorce so he could marry her.
Things were different then. They didn't have e-mail. And the job and a general's private life were totally separate.
Scandal widens
MEANWHILE, American satirist Andy Borowitz says the CIA has published a new informational brochure entitled: "How to tell if you're involved in the Petraeus Scandal."
With the scandal seemingly widening every day, "a lot of average folks out there are worried that they might somehow be involved in it without knowing".
"Have you ever met David Petraeus? Have you exchanged e-mails with Jill Kelley (the family friend and object of insane jealousy)? Under 5 000 pages of e-mails and you're probably OK, but anywhere between 10 000 and 15 000 pages of e-mails could potentially mean you're involved in some way."
Yes, a curious business.
Snared
MEANWHILE, reader Brian Kennedy notes Wednesday's headline: "Such a smart man snared by his e-mails".
"I hope it was not very painful."
Profumo affair
PETRAEUS recalls the Profumo affair in Britain, one of the few cases where public interest coincided with what would interest the public.
John Profumo, Minister of War, was sleeping with a call-girl named Christine Keeler. His own business surely – even though the details would interest the public.
But Christine was also sleeping with the Soviet naval attach̩ Рmost certainly a matter of public interest because of the potential security lapse via unguarded pillow talk and potential blackmail.
As the story burst – in the public interest – the entire world was treated to the most lurid expose of the goings-on in the British ruling establishment. It was astonishing stuff, highly entertaining. Cartoonists struggled to keep up with the unfolding story. It was in the public interest – and boy, were the public interested!
And in those days they didn't even have e-mail.
Newspaper order
AMONG the colourful stuff to emerge from the Profumo affair was the account of voyeuristic sessions involving two-way mirrors and an appreciative audience. It gave rise to the gag about Christine Keeler's newspaper order – two Mirrors, six Observers, 12 Spectators and as many Times as you like.
Lateral thinking
ZOLTAN De Rosner, of Pennington, applies what he calls a little lateral thinking to solving the financial challenge posed by Moses Mabhida Stadium.
"There is a sure way to prevent this architecturally beautiful white elephant costing local ratepayers a fortune each year. Simply withdraw all the security and, night after night, huge chunks will be removed – absolutely free.
"I'd bet that within six months the whole place would have gone. No Moses Mabhida Stadium, no maintenance, no cost … and lots more parking space for the rugby. QED."
An elegant solution, to be sure. But I suspect there would be counter-arguments.
Tailpiece
SCROD is a Massachusetts seafood speciality, usually cod or haddock. A businessman visiting Boston asks a cabbie: "Is there any place round here I can get Scrod?"
Cabbie: "Sure, I know a few places. But it's not often I hear the third person pluperfect indicative any more."
Last word
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
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