The Idler, Monday, July 30, 2012

The Jetlag Jollers

 

THE WONDERS continue in sport. The Sharks' absolutely stunning victory at Newlands brings us the prospect of rugby gold as well as Olympic gold. As the casino players say, when you're hot you're hot!

 

Perhaps next Saturday will provide a rugby jackpot that nobody could have predicted just a few weeks ago. Jetlag seems to mean nothing to these fellows. They're the Jetlag Jollers.

 

Taken with the First Test and Ernie Else winning the British Open, what a top-up this would be.

 

When you're hot, you're hot!

 

First gold

 

WHO WAS South Africa's first Olympic gold medallist? As mentioned last week, Reggie Walker won gold at the London Olympics in 1908, breaking the 100 metres record.

 

One problem: the Union of South Africa had not yet formed in 1908. But it seems Walker ran in the green and gold. It's sparked some discussion. Apparently the Olympics organisers first recorded Walker as representing "Natal" then changed it to the "SAF". What would that have been? South African Federation? Federation of what? Olympic committees? It's a mystery but the fellows are digging.

 

Maybe rugby gives us a clue. In 1906 (four years before Union) Paul Roos took a South African side to Britain. They were visiting London Zoo when journalists asked Roos if his side had a name. They were looking at a small troop of springbok at the time, and Roos replied: "Springbokken." How inspired was that?

 

Maybe the Olympic athletes two years later just borrowed from rugby. Sport is often a jump or two ahead of political developments.

 

Flag furore

 

WHOOPS! There was a furore over the displaying of the South Korean flag at an Olympics match in Glasgow between the North Korean women's soccer side and Colombia.

 

It recalls an incident at Twickenham back in the fifties when – to the astonishment of the crowd – the Springboks kept running on the spot as their national anthem was played before a rugby Test.

 

It was played over the PA system and the music turned out to be Sarie Marais, not Die Stem. It was a freezing cold day and coach Danie Craven told them to keep warm and keep on running. (To everyone's relief, they stood still respectfully when the British anthem came on).

 

 Strip, she said

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "I was at the cashier's in the supermarket when she said: 'Strip down, facing me!' I did that and all hell broke loose. Seems she was talking about my credit card. They won't let me shop there any more."

 

 

Tailpiece A MAN WALKS out into the street and flags down a taxi just going by. He gets in. Cabbie: "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab; things happened like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."    Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."    Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."    Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."    Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow! Some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man. He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"    Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow."

 

Last word

WITHOUT deviation from the norm, progress is not possible – Frank Zappa.