Gathering of the clans
Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro' the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need a body cry?
THE OLYMPICS get upstaged on Saturday by the annual Highland Games at Fort Nottingham, where folk come from far and wide to test their strength, test the strength of the local beer and charm the lassies.
The local regiments will be there: the Natal Carbineers, the Durban Light Infantry, the Natal Field Artillery, the Natal Mounted Rifles, the Umvoti Mounted Rifles, the Otto's Bluff Fusiliers and the East Griqualand Dragoons (Okay – the last two I made up).
They'll be tossing the caber, walking the weight, putting the shot and spitting the bokdrol (Okay – the last one I made up).
There will be the massed pipes and drums; highland dancing; tug-o'-war; a police dog display; craft stalls; beer gardens; bars; lunch tables; lovely lassies.
There will be the address to the haggis:
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.
And there will also be the Kilted Mile – a cruel blood sport in which laddies in their kilts race up a steep nearby mountain, then down again, their shrieks of anguish as they encounter patches of bramble something to curdle the blood.
Grand finale is a march-past where the salute will be taken by The Maclaine of Loch Buie – Chieftain of the MacLaine clan – who doubles as marketing executive of this newspaper and for many years was a stalwart of the Durban Press XI (until he sold the kit on a jumble sale by mistake). He is generally known as Drambuie.
It's a load of fun and all in aid of charity. To get there you turn off the N3 at the Nottingham Road exit and follow the directions to Nottingham Road. At the Nottingham Road/Rosetta/Balgowan junction, turn right under the railway bridge heading into Nottingham Road village and then immediately left to Fort Nottingham. It's sign-posted. After seven minutes, you will see a signpost to Fort Nottingham on the right. From there it's a good, untarred road to Fort Nottingham.
Note on fridge
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "The wife left a note on the fridge: 'It's not working! I can't take it anymore! I've gone to stay at my Mom's!' I opened the fridge. The light came on and the beer was still cold. What the heck is she talking about?"
Management team
CITY Manager … Deputy City Manager, Flagship Projects … Departmental Head in the Mayor's Office … Administration Manager, City Manager's Office … Departmental Head, Sustainability … Departmental Head, Area-based Management .. Departmental Head, Transformation … City Manager, Information Technology … Chief Operations Officer, the Treasury …
Does anyone remember the days when Durban was a debt-free city and the whole shebang was run by a fellow who called himself the Town Clerk?
Lagging behind
MEANWHILE, in the context of the R700 000 4X4s for the Deputy Mayor and the Council Speaker, as mentioned in a news report last week, Michael Green, retired editor of our sister newspaper the Daily News, notes a photograph in Noseweek magazine of CA1, official car of the Mayor of Cape Town, Patricia de Lille.
It's a small Toyota. She has the services of a driver but has no blue-light brigade or bodyguard entourage.
How Cape Town lags behind.
Let-down
WHAT a let-down the Super Rugby final turned out to be. Exhaustion and jet-lag finally took their toll, our fellows were dead on their feet – a lame end to a great season.
One imagines the sponsors and networks were as disappointed as the Sharks supporters by this one-sided non-event. Something surely has to be devised to make the competition fit with physical realities.
Back to the drawing board?
Tailpiece
Last word
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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