Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Idler, Wednesday, November 15, 2011

The economics of love

ALL AROUND us the laws of economics are inexorably at work. We need to be able to spot what is going on; spot it for what it is and know how it affects us. The labels used by economists can be very useful. For instance:

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me!"

That's direct marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and, pointing at you, says: "He's very rich. Marry him!"

That's word-of-mouth advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you phone and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me!"

That's telemarketing.

You're at a party full ofr gorgeous girls. You get all their names and phone numbers from the host and send each of them a text message saying: "I'm very rich. If interested in marrying me, please respond."

That's mass mailing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, and you open the door of your car for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"

That's public relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks right up to you and says: "You're very rich. Can you marry me?"

That's brand recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a hard slap on the face.

That's customer feedback.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.

That's a supply and demand gap.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" And she goes with him.

That's competition eating into your market share.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you can say: "I'm rich, marry me!" your wife arrives.

That's restriction from expanding into new markets

Splash of colour

WHEN the authorities at Acapulco prison in Mexico made a surprise search, they found stashed away two peacocks, 100 fighting cocks, 19 prostitutes, two sacks of marijuana, several bottles of alcohol, several television sets and an assortment of knives. Also, six female prisoners were in the men's section of the jail.

Most of this you can understand. Time drags in prison. But the peacocks?

Perhaps they were also getting a little colour into the drabness of prison life.

No little green men

A SENIOR White House official says there is no credible evidence of any extraterrestial presence on earth. Space policy official Phil Larson says there are no aliens from outer space and there is absolutely no evidence that any extraterrestial being has contacted or engaged with any human being.

That's a squelcher on the pet beliefs of so many people; devastating for the conspiracy theorists who say governments are deliberately withholding information about contacts with extraterrestrials.

Mind you, this could all be part of the conspiracy. How does Larson explain some of the individuals who have been subject to disciplinary action in South Africa lately?

I'm out!

A READER writes in to say she's out of the health and fitness racket, she's adopted the tortoise way of life.

If walking and cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, eats only plankton and drinks water. It's fat. A rabbit runs and hops and lives only 15 years.

A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for a century and more.

 

 

"And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me!"

 

Tailpiece

 

Things are really bad. Nigerians are getting spam emails from Greek millionaires. 
                                                             

 

Last word

 

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas A Edison

 

 

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