Burdens of office THE COMMONWEALTH has decided that princesses should in future succeed to the British throne ahead of their younger brothers. The current law of male primogeniture means young princes make it ahead of their elder sisters. It seems rather a cumbersome piece of political correctness. The 16 Commonwealth countries that still have the British monarch as head of state will have to amend their own legislation. The legal and constitutional tangle in Britain itself could become a nightmare. And for what? For a system that's supposedly skewed to the benefit of male royals, there have been some remarkable stretches of successful rule by queens – the Elizabethan era, the Victorian era and the current reign of Elizabeth II. Mind you, there's another way of looking at it. Why should male royals be unfairly lumbered with the burden of kingship? Prime ministers grovelling before them; all that legislation to read and sign; those boring speeches from the throne, written by political hacks. Hospital wards to open. Who would want it? Let the gals do their share. How wast das! IF MALE primogeniture had been ended a century and a half ago, Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany would also have become King of England. His mother was Queen Victoria's eldest daughter. Presumably there would then not have been a World War I or a World War II – but would the Brits today then be called upon to help bale out Greece financially? Would the Germans be dominating world cricket? It's known as the law of unintended consequences. Spooky moth LOCAL film producer Cheryl Johnson reports a somewhat spooky Halloween visitor. She found an Eastern Death's Head Hawk Moth clinging to the side of her swimming pool the other day. About 75mm long, the moth gets its name from the skull-like markings on its thorax. She rescued it from the pool and placed it on a Natal Banana stump. "During the rescue it flapped its wings wildly revealing bright orange under-wings, black furry tarantula-like legs and a striped black and gold thorax which it vibrated – either in rage or pleasure, I'm not sure which." It nearly frightened the life out of her when it squeaked very loudly as she accidentally touched it. What puzzles Cheryl is that the moth is an Asian species, not of Africa. How did it end up in Durban? It seemed exhausted. Maybe it had flown in from Beijing. Any theories out there? Cheryl left the moth with a spoonful of honey to snack on overnight. In the morning it, and the honey, were gone. That's it. Trick or treat. News from Oz AN ENIGMATIC letter arrives from Australia: "I sat, as did millions of other Australians, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power 12 months ago. "At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Julia Gillard took her oath of office .
"However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 SAS soldiers in full dress uniform with rifles fire a 21-gun salute to the prime minister.
"It was then that I realised how far Australia's military had deteriorated. Every one of them missed the bitch". | |
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Cordon bleu
SOME items from the world's restaurant menus:
· Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion (Poland)
· Buttered saucepans and fried hormones (Japan)
· Cock in wine (Egypt)
· Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream (China)
· Fillet streak, popotoes, chocolate mouse (Hong Kong)
· French creeps (America)
· French fried ships (Egypt)
· Goose barnacles (Spain)
· Indonesian Nazi Goreng (Hong Kong)
Tailpiece
THE NEW FACTORY boss is determined to get rid of all slackers. On his first tour of the plant he notices a guy leaning against a wall looking bored. He marches up to him.
"How much do you earn a week?"
"I make R1 000 a week. Why?"
The boss: "Wait right here!" He walks back to his office, comes back in two minutes, and hands the guy R4 000 in cash. "Here's four weeks' pay. Now get out and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty bucked with himself, the boss looks round the room and asks: "Does anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?"
A voice from across the room: "Pizza delivery guy from Domingo's."
Last word
It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear.
Douglas Adams
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