Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Idler, Friday, November 4, 2011

Tattoos are for keeps

AN AMERICAN neo-Nazi discovered an awful truth. You can come to your senses and ditch your extremist views – but you're stuck with the tattoos

Bryon Widner, once of the notorious Vinlanders skinhead gang in Ohio, had swastikas, lightning bolts, arrows and strands of barbed wire tattooed all over his face and other parts of his body.

Then he met a nice girl and decided to go straight. But the tattoo work made it impossible for him to fit into normal society. People just don't trust an investment advisor who has "Blood and honour" tattooed across his throat.

But there's a happy ending. An organisation called the Southern Poverty Law Centre found a doctor who burns off tattoos with a laser; they raised the $32 000 needed for the treament; 16 painful months later, Bryon's face is clear. Elsewhere, they're inking over the tattoos. He'll end up looking a bit like a fox terrier. But at least it's a fresh start.

There's a caution in this for those Florida Road lovelies whose bare midriffs are emblazoned with butterflies and other such art work. Tattoos are for keeps. And what looks today like a beautiful butterfly can end up, 20 years down the line, more like a wombat or a duck-billed platypus.

Daylight saving

IN BRITAIN they're talking about permanently moving the clocks forward an hour, the way they do in summer. But the idea could run into opposition from Scotland where, being so far north, the sun already rises late in winter.

"It's no secret that Tories in the south want to leave Scotland in darkness," says Scottish Nationalist MP Angus MacNeil. "Fixing the clocks to British summer time would mean that dawn wouldn't break in Scotland until nearly 9am."

Daylight saving is a debate we've had here as well. It does seem crazy that we in Durban should live in a Cape Town time zone - the sun rising around five am in summer yet schools, shops and offices opening only three hours later and more.

You don't necessarily have to move the clocks forward. What's wrong with all of us in KZN just starting and ending our working day a couple of hours earlier in summer? Just tell the rest of the country not to bother phoning after 3pm, we'll be on the beach.

It can be tricky moving the clocks forward. They tried it in Namibia a few years ago. A great idea but one small problem – they based their calculations on the northern hemisphere. This had the sun rising over Windhoek about lunchtime.

Daylight saving? The Namibians say: Never again!

Reading list

 

CORA Mulholland sends in her recommended reading list for the Christmas season:

 

The Cliff Tragedy, by Eileen Dover; The Greatest Party, by Maud de Merrier; Never Give Up, by Percy Vere; The Post Script, by Adeline Extra; Army Jokes, by Major Laugh; All You Need to Know About Explosives, by Dina Mite; The Embarrassing Moment, by Lucy Lastic; I've Been Bitten, by A Flea; and The Naughty Schoolboy, by Enid Spanking.

 

Thank you, Cora. In return I recommend The German Barber, by Herr Kutz.

 

Lawrie Schlemmer

A LIGHT has gone out in South Africa's intellectual world with the death of Lawrie Schlemmer, a bohemian maverick social scientist whose quest for the truth made him many enemies.

Lawrie combined his research activities with a joie de vivre that had him engaging with all kinds of people with whose views he did not necessarily agree. He found people interesting and worth talking to, whatever their standpoint.

At the height of apartheid his position seemed challengingly radical. It remained so under the new political order. In truth, that's what he was - a challenging radical. He challenged ideological hocu pocus whether of the Right or the Left. He dealt in facts. He had liberal principles. The party faithful, of whatever stripe, were uncomfortable with him.

He certainly had enemies. Not many people have their university office and their home burned down in the same day. But Lawrie carried on regardless. He knew no other way. And he was always highly entertaining.

Yes, a light has gone out. But not before much had been illuminated.


Tailpiece

A PEDESTRIAN was run over by a large, military-style 4x4 passenger vehicle. The police suspect a hummercide.

 

 

Last word

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Granville Hicks

 

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