The tyrants tremble
THE DAY OF the autocrat is past. Iron-fisted dictatorships shake with trepidation as waves of public anger build up to sweep them away. The days of brutal tyrants ensconced for life to drain the wealth of the subject peoples will soon be no more.
The anger has ignited after years of brutal tyranny. Zen El Abidine Benn Ali of Tunisia is gone. Hosni Mubarak of Egypt is gone. Basha al-Assad of Syria is shaking in his boots. So is Ali Abdullaaq Saleh of The Yemen. Also Muammar Gaddafi of Libya.
And now Sett Blatter of Fifa.
Sexy bitch
A DOG-DATING website has been launched in England by the Kennel Club to try to ensure that pedigree puppies are healthy and free from genetic problems.
The idea of Mate Select is to promote in every way the general improvement of dogs. It will connect pedigree dog breeders and attempt to put an end to genetic problems caused by some breeders mating dogs that are too closely related – inbreeding.
"It basically enables breeders to perform hypothetical matings online and see what impact a mating will have on the genetic diversity (the long term health and viability) of the breed that they love," says a spokesman for Mate Select.
Hmmm. Hypothetical mating online? I hope this doesn't degenerate into something like the human equivalent. There are some perverts who would enjoy nothing more than talking dirty to a dachshund.
No hidey-hole
HOW THE WORLD has changed. There was a time when fascist genocidists could always fall back on a hidey-hole in some South American banana republic, as so many Nazis did after World War II; when international terrorists with any sort of socialist/anarchist agenda, such as the Red Brigades and the Baader Meinhof gang, could always slip behind the Iron Curtain.
But no longer. Places like Venezuela and Cuba might still use the anti-imperialist rhetoric but it's doubtful whether they would actually harbour terrorists. The arrest in neighbouring Serbia of Bosnian Serb General Ratko Mladic – wanted for some dreadful war crimes – shows there's nowhere to run these days.
The International Court of Justice at The Hague wants Colonel Gaddafi. It already has Mladic's fellow Bosnian Serb Radovan Karadzic. It seems it will soon have Mladic. The Egyptians want to put Mubarak on trial at home. Liberian warlord Charles Taylor is already on trial at The Hague for alleged war crimes.
No doubt about it, the world has gone respectable. It's become an uncomfortable place for the bad guys, the gung-ho dictators and ethnic cleansers.
Does any of this cause a shiver in Zimbabwe? Or has southern Africa fallen off the world's radar screen?
Left or right?
THE SOUTH Pacific island of Samoa is to switch in September from driving on the right side of the road (which we call the wrong side) to the left. Reason: Neighbouring islands drive on the left; also, it's cheaper to import cars from Australia, New Zealand and Japan (which drive on the left) than from the US (on the right).
It's odd the way different countries have chosen different sides. I suppose you had to initially make a choice, one side or t'other, after which it's difficult to change.
They say the left was chosen in England in the days of the highwaymen. If you rode your horse on the left, close to the hedgerow, the highwayman would have to come at you from the other side. Your sword arm (right) would be free to engage him; you could fire at him across the horse's neck with a pistol held in your left.
But it sounds a bit fanciful. It might have been the ancient Romans who decided, on a whim. From the Roman Empire to the British Empire – Commonwealth countries use the left, with the notable exception of Canada, influenced no doubt by the US.
Angola is another exception. In Mozambique they drive on the left, in Portugal on the right and in Angola in the middle.
Tailpiece
VAN DER MERWE has a holiday booked in Europe. He goes into the travel agent's and cancels the care hire he'd arranged.
"Why?"
"Man, I heard they drive on the right-hand side of the road in those countries. I tried it out between Glencoe and Vryheid. It's blerrie dangerous!"
Last word
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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