Katie rules, OK!
THE BRITS vote in a referendum today on whether to adopt the alternative vote electoral system (as used in Australia) in place of the current first past the post formula. AV means voters can express second and third choices, which can come into play in deciding the winner in each constituency where no single candidate has an overall majority.
This could lead to complications. The Brits could end up with the Duchess of Cambridge (aka Katie) as prime minister, heading a cabinet made up of football players, celebrity chefs and Page 3 girls from the Sun.
Or am I reading this wrong?
Giant ants
I CAN'T dance, I've got ants in my pants … scientists have discovered the fossilised remains of a giant ant 5cm long.
Named Titanomyrma lubei, it was about the size of a wren and lived 50 million years ago. The fossils have been found in Europe and now in Wyoming, in the US.
Extinct ants the size of a wren? These scientists need to get out more. Here on the Berea we still have ants that can snatch the Sunday roast off your table when you're not looking.
Pitch invasion
THE BEAUTIFUL game ... a man has been arrested in England after a section of the crowd invaded the pitch in a lower league match between Bury and Chesterfield and punched the Bury goalkeeper after he let through a goal.
One might have thought these were Bury fans who were dissatisfied at the goal being let through, but no – they were Chesterfield supporters having a gloat.
Photographs of the incident are concerning. They show an attractive young girl giving the keeper twos-up with both hands; a young fellow who appears to be in his early teens giving him the American "finger"; then another fellow, just as young, socking the goalie in the jaw.
The yobbism is certainly disturbing. But so is the confusion of insult by gesture. While the young girl correctly employs the twos-up sign – derived from the Battle of Agincourt where the English bowmen used it derisively against the French who had threatened to cut off their fingers – the teenage youth uses the American "finger".
Twos-up is part of the Anglo-Saxon heritage. The American "finger" originates I know not where. I believe that even when invading a football pitch we need to remember our heritage.
Fingers crossed
MEANWHILE, a young lady who teaches history tells me the "fingers crossed" gesture also has its origins at Agincourt. It is a more polite way of recalling that the English bowmen did not have their fingers cut off by the French.
The Lotto
RECENTLY we touched on the furore over the National Lottery's funding of a tour by a musical group to the tune of millions, while charities struggle to be allocated money. I asked somewhat rhetorically if anyone remembered the Natal Lotto with its transparency, low operating costs and flow of funding for good causes.
Linda Vandeverre, of Cowies Hill, is one who does remember.
"I remember the Natal Lotto with enormous respect. It was run by Rod Colenbrander. When I approached the Lotto for a donation for Sunfield Home, in Howick (which cares so well for mentally handicapped adults, one of whom is my daughter), they were very thorough in their investigation of the need.
"Having ascertained that building work was necessary, we then had to submit quotes for the work, which they had a quantity surveyor assess. As the work progressed the invoices went to the Lotto team and the contractors (whose work was inspected as it progressed) were paid directly so that there was no question of middlemen benefiting.
"Ours was not a unique case. I also know of a quantity surveyor the Natal Lotto used who, when it was his birthday, asked his guests to bring gifts of non-perishable food that he could take to one of the orphanages the Lotto was helping."
For anyone wanting to support Sunfield in the spirit of the Natal Lotto, the Home is holding a fundraising Country Fair on Saturday, in Howick.
Tailpiece
Patient: "I'm a walking economy."
Psychologist: "How so?"
Patient: "My hairline's in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation and these together have me in a deep depression."
Last word
Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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