Don't make it
Arrivederci
Nippon
IT'S a Big 'Un tomorrow. Unless the Boks can beat Italy, we're out of contention for the Rugby World Cup.
Italy? Is this really such a hurdle? Well, yet it is. Three years ago they shocked us in Florence. And this World Cup has already produced one extreme shock with Japan beating Ireland, until then ranked second in world rugby.
Let's not produce another shock. The Boks need to go into this with a game plan that lasts the 80 minutes. No aimless kicking away of possession – ball in hand play, ferocious rucking, ferocious tackling.
Objective: To be the first side ever to win through after losing their first match in the pool stages. Kop hou! It can be done!
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Transatlantic pickle
WHO could have imagined that the two transatlantic allies – the US and the UK – could get themselves simultaneously into such a self-inflicted state of pickle?
They're separate pickles, granted. In the UK the seconds tick away toward a "no deal" cliff-edge Brexit with potentially disastrous results, as Brussels all but rejects in advance Boris Johnson's complicated and probably unworkable formula to keep Northern Ireland both in and out of the European customs union.
In the US Donald Trump fulminates as the House of Representatives explores an impeachment process following the intervention of a "whistleblower" – it seems probably from the CIA – who broke the story that Trump had asked the president of Ukraine for help in digging up dirt on Joe Biden, his probable opponent in the next presidential election.
Trump retweets a warning of "civil war" if he is impeached. He calls for the congressman conducting the investigation to be charged with "treason".
These are weighty and combustible issues both sides of the Atlantic.
What happens in Northern Ireland if there's "no deal" Brexit? Does the Good Friday Agreement, that has all but ended 300 years and more of sectarian conflict, simply evaporate into chaos?
Did Trump really seek foreign intervention in an American election?
As the Ancient Greeks used to say: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.
Squeeze time
A SIDE-ISSUE in Britain has been whether prime minister Boris Johnson did or did not squeeze the thigh of a female fellow-journalist 20 years ago.
Daily Telegraph cartoonist Matt links it to the Brexit issue. A character is at the Tory party conference: "I can't help feeling that Boris should now be in Brussels squeezing Michel Barnier's thigh."
Songsters needed
DO YOU have the urge to burst into song at the least provocation? Does it irritate your spouse or partner?
If so, you're just the person being sought by the Retired Teachers and Friends Choir, who specialise in putting on concerts in the Greater Durban area at hospitals and retirement homes.
They do it free of charge, their reward being the smiles that light up the faces of their listeners.
The Retired Teachers and Friends are looking for male and female singers. Anyone interested should phone Peggy Gorven at 031- 3128828 or Geoff Parkes at 084-5816095.
Listen to the railway porter,
Please refrain from passing water
When the train is standing at the sta-a-a-ation …
No, I guess I'd better not audition. They're not interested in rugby songs at the hospitals and retirement homes of Greater Durban.
Tailpiece
DON'T join dangerous cults. Practise safe sects.
Last word
I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer. - Peter Ustinov
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