The soapie
that's become
a whirligig
OH BOY! The Brexit soapie has become a whirligig. Prime minister Boris Johnson has secured a withdrawal deal with the EU that keeps Northern Ireland within the European customs union as well as the British (Eh?), with a customs border in the Irish Sea, which a matter of weeks ago he promised would never happen. He's accused by the Ulster Unionists, who until now had been supporting him in parliament, of "betrayal".
Does he now have the votes to get the deal accepted by the House of Commons? It could have been decided last Saturday, except that an amendment to guard against an accidental falling over the "no deal" cliff-edge brings into play the requirement by law that he write to the EU requesting a three-month extension, something he's said he rather be "dead in a ditch" than do.
But he's now written that letter (not signing it). He seems to have survived the ditch ordeal. But he accompanied the letter with another one (signed) in which he says what a crummy idea postponement is.
He's accused of childishness, petulance. This is the leader of a country that's a permanent member of the UN Security Council with the power of veto, a senior member of Nato? The mind, senor, she boggles!
IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener discusses matters sartorial.
"Is it terribly colonial to be uneasy when confronted by a man wearing a hat indoors? But when the individual is the fellow responsible for supplying the nation with that most colonial of commodities – electrical power – it may be justified.
"Behatted Mr Jabu Mabula, the acting CEO of Eskom (yes, our key utility still does not have a permanent boss!) has been explaining that a conveyor belt supplying the coal to one of our newest power stations has broken and that therefore the power supply is being rationed.
"This is bad news for rugby fans, let alone the small matter of getting an economy to grow. That he has now activated an 'emergency command centre' and is also pinning his hopes on the cabinet approved Integrated Resource Plan is not entirely comforting. He should be firing the staff who failed to notice a conveyor belt close to failure and all the other minor but critical items necessary to keep the lights on."
Then on to natty blazer rig-outs for cabinet ministers.
"Unlike the dubious desperados who are so often called in by government and its agencies to provide advice on matter financial, the public relations consultants may be cheaper and more fun. For example, they togged out Communications, Telecommunications and Postal Services Minister Stella Ndabeni-Abrahams in a natty blazer complete with pocket badge bearing a stylish 4IR logo.
"She was on a podium to announce that the first draft of the Presidential Commission's blueprint on the Fourth Industrial Revolution is expected to be released in October.
"She also said '4IR will be enabled with 5G… but we need to look at the ecosystem of 5G.' This statement probably lost whoever remained of her audience as that trigger word 'eco' will have sent many diving for cover before teenage eco-warriors burst upon the stage.
"For a nation battling to keep the lights on, tis alphabet soup of acronyms is very sadly meaningless."
Tailpiece
THERE was this dyslexic lawyer. He studied all year for the bra exam.
Last word
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi
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