The Idler, Friday, October 18, 2019

Brexit soapie –

twists, turns

to very end?

 

IS TOMORROW the final episode in the Brexit soapie? The British parliament will hold its first Saturday session since the Falklands War. Will prime minister Boris Johnson return from Brussels with a new withdrawal agreement with the EU?

In that case, will parliament accept the agreement? If more time is needed for negotiation will Boris apply for an extension of the Brexit deadline (though he would rather be dead in a ditch), as the law actually requires him to do?

Or will he snap his fingers at all concerned and tell the Brits they're leaving on October 31 without a deal, like it or lump it? What a Halloween party!

Will parliament turf him out as prime minister and set up an interim government? Will he then "squat" at Number 10 Downing Street, as he's threatened?

Will parliament set up another Brexit referendum, possibly confirming what Boris has agreed with the EU (assuming that happens), or perhaps asking the old questions?

It's a really weird situation, a prime minister well short of a majority in the House of Commons, yet unable to change that by way of a general election without the agreement of the opposition. You couldn't make it up. The permutations are endless.

In terms of script this is superb soap opera. But one senses the audience is becoming a little wearied. At least one could see an end to the Falklands War. Brexit could run and run.

 

 

Another Big 'Un

 

MORE entertaining will be the quarter-finals of the Rugby World Cup. It's yet another Big 'Un for the Boks on Sunday. Conventional wisdom says it should go our way, in spite of the Brave Blossoms' skill and flair.

But many a slip twixt cup and lip. Who could have predicted Japan's performance against Scotland?

The overall shake-out will be fascinating. One to watch is Ireland versus New Zealand. The Paddies have not quite come to light so far, but they have a habit of upsets against the All Blacks. We'd accept that with our customary equanimity.

The damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties are beside themselves with patriotism and the prospect of supplying knicker elastic for a fashioning of catapults for the time-honoured celebratory feu de joie in which the streetlights are shot out.

'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!

 

 

 

Let-down

 

A WOMAN climbed over the safety rail of the African Lion enclosure at the Bronx Zoo in New York, called out "Hi!" to the resident lion, then proceeded to dance about for him, the two separated only by a narrow moat.

The lion began roaring – whether in appreciation and support or in agitation is not clear – and the lass then climbed back over the rail and disappeared.

The zoo authorities are looking for her and have filed a charge of criminal trespass, according to Huffington Post.

Sigh! These Brakpan girls always let us down when they're abroad.

 

 

 

Tailpiece

A SCOTSMAN walks into a bar … Usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman are also there, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.

 

 

Last word

 

Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things. - Douglas Adams