WHO could have scripted the Reality TV capturing the current American political set-up?
A porn actress claims she had an affair with the president and goes on to write a book in which she graphically describes his, er, apparatus.
Two other books describe events inside the White House as something resembling the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.
Various close associates of the president are in deep trouble with the FBI.
The normally routine Senate confirmation of a high court judicial appointment suddenly becomes a lurid cameo of teenage drinking and sexual groping, The FBI are again involved.
And now President Trump announces that he and Kim Jong-un, the North Korean dictator, have "fallen in love".
"I like him. He likes me. I guess that's OK. Am I allowed to say that?" Trump asked supporters at a rally in West Virginia.
"I was being really tough and so was he. And we would go back and forth. And then we fell in love. No, really. He wrote me beautiful letters. They were great letters. And then we fell in love."
The cheering sounded a little faint, perhaps caused by puzzlement and even shock.
This is Reality TV with a vengeance. Who could have scripted anything as sensational? The mind, senor, she boggles.
I REALLY must get to Barbara Siedle's Faces of Africa exhibition which opens tomorrow in the Elizabeth Gordon Art Gallery, in Florida Road.
I've already seen and admired some of her paintings that will be on show, reflecting her travels through the wild spots of Namibia, Botswana and South Africa. However, a rumour reaches my ears that some of the pictures to go on show tomorrow were painted at Mpenjati nudist beach, on the South Coast. If true, this would be sensational.
I happened to encounter Barbara the other evening and when I put it to her, she laughed and laughed and produced no clear answer.
Barbara is, of course, also a gifted sculptor. She's the niece of the famous Perla Siedle Gibson, the "Lady in White" who sang to troopships from the dockside in Durban during World War II.
Barbara sculpted the statue of her aunt that was unveiled by Queen Elizabeth during a Commonwealth Conference in Durban some years ago, and which today stands in the harbour precinct.
Has she shifted her genre to Mpenjati? In the world of art there are no barriers. All will be revealed tomorrow. Er, let me rephrase that. We'll know tomorrow.
GIANT spiderwebs have suddenly started blanketing the shores of Aitoliko, in the western part of Greece. They cover everything – rocks and vegetation.
They are spun by a very small spider of the Tetragnatha genus, Huffington Post tells us, which feeds on the gnats and mosquitoes produced by recent hot, humid conditions.
Slap! How the vulnerable sunbathers of Mpenjati would welcome an infestation of small spiders of the Tetragnatha genus.
SHE'S in a tight skirt. As the bus approaches, she realises she'll have difficulty stepping up onto the boarding platform. She reaches back and unzips the skirt slightly.
No good, still too tight. She reaches back and unzips some more. Then the fellow behind lifts her up bodily and places her on the bus.
"How dare you lay hands on me like that?" she hisses.
"Well, when you unzipped me I figured we were old friends."
At least half the mystery novels published violate the law that the solution, once revealed, must seem to be inevitable.