Idler Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Twas at the

gathering

of the clans …

 

Just about daybreak, I met a young lassie,
Wha asked me the road, and the miles to Dundee ...

 

SINGER Andy Stewart doesn't tell us where the young lassie was walking from. Glencoe? Wasbank? Pomeroy? Utrecht? But if she were walking this coming weekend she'd find lots of action at Dundee:

A "Ghost Walk" on Friday night when groups will be taken round the cemetery and battlefield at Talana Hill, where the first engagement of the Anglo-Boer War was fought in 1899.

All kinds of spooky stories, and a piper playing a lament. Then a breaking of the tension with a singalong with bully beef and sherry in the Boer Camp. Bully beef and sherry – things haven't changed much since 1899.

Then, in the ensuing days, pipe bands, the Dundee Highland Games and Scottish Gathering; vintage cars, marches through town; a Gun Run Challenge, pulling naval guns uphill; and eventually a re-enactment of the battle by the Dundee Diehards and the Boer Outstryders.

It's Dundee's "Talana Live Piping Hot" festival that celebrates with period costume the town's origins as a gritty Scots mining community (even the Zulus spoke English with a strong Scots accent in the old days) and its subsequent unfolding history until today. Lots of colour, lots of fun, and a wee drappie or two, just to keep the cold out and the mosquitoes away.

 

So here's to my lassie, I ne'er can forget her
And ilka young laddie, wha's list'ning to me,
O never be a sweer, to convoy a young lassie
Though it's only to show her, the road to Dundee …

 

WE AFFICIONADOS of the oval ball nevertheless appreciate the skills and flow of the round ball game. We can become glued to the TV screen.

The other evening as England beat Spain 3-2 in Seville, it was drama, history. England had not beaten Spain at home in 31 years. Spain had not lost at home in 15 to anyone. What a game!

Centre-forward Sir Francis Drake had much to do with it – er,  centre-forward Harry Kane had much to do with it. One gets confused in the excitement.

 

WILDLIFE rangers in the American state of Maryland rescued a black bear cub who had got his head stuck in a plastic jar, according to Huffington Post.

The 45kg male had to be tranquillised before they could cut him free. It happened at a festival at Wisp Resort, the rescue watched by hundreds of people. The little bear had wandered in to scrounge.

Eventually he was reunited with his mother and another cub in the woods.

But the rangers have nicknamed him "Buckethead". I hope the experience – crowds, embarrassment and an embarrassing name - doesn't cause this little bear to develop a complex.

 

THE US embassy in Canberra, Australia, issued an invitation to those on its diplomatic guest list to attend a "Cat Pyjama Party". The invitation was illustrated with a cat in pyjamas holding a plate of cookies, according to Associated Press.

But it turned out to be a booboo perpetrated by a new staffer who was testing the embassy's email newsletter platform. An apology was issued.

Those on the guest list must have been disappointed. Here seemed to be something out of the humdrum of the diplomatic round

Tailpiece

WHAT should you do if you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man, park in it!

 

Last word

Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution.

Edward Teller