Kavanaugh
would
understand
I FEEL like Justice Brett Kavanaugh when he discovered that girl had a swimming costume on under her party gear. We did more than enough to win that match. Yet somehow we blew it after leading almost from the get-go. Whatever possessed Rassie to send on replacements when the personnel onfield were firing like a supercharged Ferrari?
Sigh! The only comfort was the three charming girls with whom I watched this epic encounter between the Boks and the All Blacks, eschewing the coarse male company with which one normally watches these things.
So distraught am I that I trust the gals will keep on comforting in the days ahead. Somewhere you always find a plus. Like the fact also that Springbok rugby is back with a bang. What magnificent driving play! What handling! For 78 of the 80 minutes we had them truly rattled.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener takes issue in his latest grumpy newsletter with government terminology and with last week's Jobs Summit.
"There are many words and phrases that the current government misuses grievously but among the worst is "performance bonus".
Maybe somewhere in a clean and tidy office somewhere in the labyrinthine corridors of the Union Buildings or at the controls of a machine or in front of a class or even just wielding a spade, there is a public employee doing a great job worthy of a small thank you present at holiday time.
"But multi-million rand performance bonuses handed out after being dismissed for incompetence or after just a few months in the job are a travesty. Let alone a severe and unwarranted waste of public money.
"The private sector is not immune to this self-awarded largesse and the claim that such packages are necessary to retain the staff could benefit from being tested. But the difference is that the money has come from the shareholders and other employees and in theory there are remedies available if those parties feel hard done by."
Greener congratulates the organisers of the Jobs Summit on assembling so many of the people responsible for the fact that jobs are so scarce.
"Unfortunately they didn't follow through either by getting speakers to explain that fact to the well-fed ministers in the front row or by herding the whole lot off to go and do some proper work for a change.
"The people who actually do create jobs, by employing people to provide paying customers with jobs and services they require, were far too busy to attend this "Summit".
"Also, the new record high fuel price is now an important consideration for anyone who doesn't have a government-supplied credit card to use to fill-up."
READER Beau Lintner sends in a diagramatic variation on the familiar theme of the Three Monkeys – "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil"- each with its paws clamped over eyes, ears and mouth.
A fourth monkey is added, operating a smartphone.
"He is the sum of the first three. He sees nobody, hears nobody and speaks to nobody."
Too true.
Tailpiece
AN ATTRACTIVE girl goes into a doctor's rooms accompanied by an old crone.
"We've come for an examination," says the girl.
"All right, just go behind that curtain and take off your clothes."
"No, not me. My aunt here."
"Very well … Madam, please put your tongue out."
Last word
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
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