Griquas and the
Mannetjies
factor
NEVER underestimate Griquas. They have a habit of pulling rabbits out of the hat in the Currie Cup, especially on their home turf.
Hy drink soet koffie met sy een oog toe
en hy praat weer oor die drie van Mannetjies Roux ...
(He drinks sweet coffee with one eye closed
And he talks again about the try of Mannetjies Roux …)
Laurika Rauch's sad ballad concerns the dazzling try Mannetjies scored for unfancied Griquas against mighty Northern Transvaal to win the Currie Cup. A long time ago but they're still singing about it.
Having said that, the Sharks most certainly have what it takes to pull it off and bring us a home semi-final. They must just hou kop, have patience and keep it ball in hand. No kicking away possession. No silly buggers factor.
The gals of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties are already lining up to offer their knicker elastic for a fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie in which the streetlights are shot out.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
THE Brits are getting themselves into a terrible pickle over Brexit and the Northern Ireland border.
If they leave the EU and the customs union, it's unacceptable to the EU that the "soft" border – no controls - between the Republic of Ireland (an EU member state) and Northern Ireland should remain.
It's unacceptable to the Brits that the border between the UK and the EU should be an imaginary line in the Irish Sea because that would make Northern Ireland a part of the EU and would cut it off from mainland Britain.
To make the currently soft border a "hard" one – customs and immigration controls – would be hideously expensive and totally impractical. Irish folk live one side of the border and work on the other. They cross the border in their thousands every day, some of them recrossing to pop home for lunch.
Besides, that soft border is integral to the Good Friday Agreement that has largely resolved Northern Ireland's sectarian problems.
And now Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionists - whose 10 MPs Theresa May relies on these days for a majority in the House of Commons – say they will vote against any Brexit deal that treats Northern Ireland differently from the rest of the UK.
Er, might it not have been an idea to sort all this out before the Brexit process was even begun?
BIRDS have been getting themselves tipsy in Minnesota, in the US. That's the feathered variety, not the skirted ones you always find hanging around cocktail bars.
It's happening at a place called Gilbert, where the cops have been getting calls about birds flying into windows, absolutely plastered and staggering about. They've also been flying into cars.
It seems, according to Sky News, that early frosts have caused wild berries to ferment. The birds feed on the berries and get themselves totally sloshed.
Nothing more offputting than a drunken chorus of orioles.
Tailpiece
A FELLOW is on business in Boston, Massachusetts. He decides to find a restaurant serving scrod, the seafood delicacy for which the place is renowned. He hails a cab.
"Do you know any place around here where I can get scrod?" he asks the cabby.
"Sure, I know a few places. But it's not often I hear someone use the third person pluperfect indicative any more."
Last word
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.
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