Another humdinger beckons
WELL, here we go for another humdinger. England are desperate to keep the series alive, the Boks keen to close it down. The only way either can succeed is by a repeat-plus of the same we saw last week. Running it, caution to the winds. Tackling. And avoidance of silly buggers penalties.
Bloemfontein is in for something spectacular if last week is anything to go by. Habitues of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties are likewise in for something spectacular if the damsels' reaction last week is anything to go by. Knicker elastic for the fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie, where the streetlights are shot out. Oh boy!
These Tests are virtual warm-ups for the World Cup. And we're discovering something. The overseas competitions are beginning to inject something to our home rugby. Look at Faf de Klerk (man of the match) Willie le Roux and Duane Vermeulen. They're all playing in the top-notch European competitions – a sort of internationalised club rugby - and last Saturday you could see they've been honed to a new sharpness.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Peace initiative
NORTH Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un, has offered to host peace talks between the United States and Canada, according to the New Yorker.
This follows increasingly acrimonious exchanges between Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and President Donald Trump and his officials on the question of trade tariffs.
Speaking to reporters at his hotel in Singapore, Kim said the rising tensions between the North American neighbours were posing an "intolerable threat to world peace."
In addition to offering to host US-Canada talks in Pyongyang, Kim urged the immediate creation of a demilitarised zone along the border separating the two hostile nations.
"In exchange for the Canadian Mounties agreeing to stand down on their side of the border, the US, in turn, would dismantle its nuclear weapons," Kim said.
Although stating that "North Korea stands ready and willing to be an honest broker" in peace talks between the two countries, he urged Trump to dial back the "inflammatory rhetoric" that he aimed at Canadians.
Yes, you've probably guessed, this is satirist Andy Borowitz again. The man is in clover.
Daredevil raccoon
I've told the possum in the gum tree,
the raccoon on the ground ...
NOT THIS raccoon – he scaled a 23-floor building in St Paul, Minnesota, in the US, taking almost a day over it and keep the city and the internet world on tenterhooks, according to the BBC.
The critter, dubbed #MPRraccoon after the radio station opposite the high-rise, trended worldwide on Twitter.
Crowds gathered at the building after it went viral, and local media streamed its perilous climb for almost a day.
Eventually he reached the roof in the early hours, where he walked into a waiting trap baited with cat food. He was later released by animal welfare authorities.
Raccoons are common in the US, but are usually found in alleys or riffling through rubbish bins – leading to the common nickname "trash panda". They're all over in Minnesota –but you don't often see them scaling office towers.
Ornery alligator
YOU don't want to get into a bar fight with this alligator. He head-butted a Florida Fish and Wildlife trapper and knocked him out cold.
It happened at a place called Ocoee where people had reported a 2m alligator wandering round the neighbourhood, according to Huffington Post.
The trapper and two cops managed to catch the 'gator. But when they tried to heaver him into a truck, he went bananas. He backflipped and head-butted the trapper, who went out for the count. He thrashed around with his tail, whacking both cops.
It was captured on video and went viral on the internet. Cagefighting agents want to give the alligator a contract.
Tailpiece
A BLUFF okey is walking along the beach when he spots an old lamp half-buried in the sand. He picks it up and starts brushing the sand off.
Kazam! A huge genie appears. "I can grant you one wish."
"I would like to live forever."
"I'm afraid that eternal life is the one wish I cannot grant."
"Okay. I'd like to live until the government has balanced the budget and paid off the national debt."
The genie pauses. "You're a sly little bugger!"
Last word
HEGEL was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. – George Bernard Shaw
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