A dream tarnished
THE LEMONADE stand has always typified America's get-up-and-go entrepreneurial spirit. A kid sets up the stand on a street corner and sells home-made lemonade by the glass to thirsty passers-by. These are sound free enterprise activities, the kind of thing that made America great.
But even this is becoming debased, it seems. At a place called Johnstown, in western Pennsylvania, a 10-year kid had set up his stand. But then an older boy came along with an airgun and tried to stick him up for his cash takings.
But the youngster was having none of this and it ended in a wrestling match for the cash box, the older boy eventually able to snatch $30 (R300) and run away. So robbery has entered the American Dream.
But the robber didn't get away with it. Three other kids chased him to his home and called the police. He will now appear in the juvenile court.
So justice is served. But a wholesome image of American values is tarnished. Airgun brigandry. Such a shame.
Twiggy's Pie Cart
THE ABOVE recalls a similar lapse in Maritzburg many years ago when a certain desperado held up Twiggy's Pie Cart, in the Market Square, with a .22 rifle, demanding a pint of milk.
He had a handkerchief over his face but the disguise was wholly ineffectual. He was wearing a Maritzburg Collegians rugby jersey, he was very well known as one of the tallest men in town; his noisy motorcycle was known to all and sundry and his cackles of tipsy laughter as he pulled off the heist made him instantly recognisable.
In fact Sam Naidoo, head honcho at Twiggy's, addressed him by name and gave him a stern lecture on his behaviour as he handed over the milk.
No, the police didn't get involved. Twiggy's just added the price of a pint of milk to this fellow's bill next time he legitimately dropped round.
Hanging on
IF YOU THINK the traffic is hectic at Warwick Triangle, how about this incident in Moscow?
A Russian police officer clung desperately to the bonnet of a vehicle for about a kilometre through traffic after he landed there while trying to stop it making an illegal turn.
Somehow the whole thing was captured on camera, the footage ending up on a website.
The policeman eventually slid off the bonnet sustaining relatively minor injuries. The traffic violator was traced two days later. He was probably planning to hide out at Warwick Triangle but didn't make it.
Keep thinking
SOME ponderisms to keep us thinking:
· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
· When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it's a valuable plant.
· The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
· Have you noticed, since everyone has a phone camera these days no one talks about seeing UFOs the way they used to?
Cricket quiz
IS CRICKET likely to become a major sport in China? The BBC went to investigate in the north-eastern city of Shenyang, where the game is said to have taken root and is being coached in some schools. The thinking is that China's huge population means that if only one in 10 000 people there took up cricket, that would mean well over 100 000 players.
The BBC team walked about with a cricket bat, asking people if they knew what it was.
Oh certainly, a lot of them said. It was the paddle for a canoe.
It will be some time before the Chinese challenge us for the Test cricket top spot, it seems.
Tailpiece
Anthropologist; "What is your wife's name?"
Native American chief: "Five Horses."
Anthropologist: "That's interesting. Why Five Horses?"
Native American chief: "Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!"
Last word
I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in 20 minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.
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