It's haiku time
LOGARITHMS are pretty baffling things that most of us worked with uncomprehendingly, just to get through matric maths. But in fact they're much more than that, they're representative of voluptuous, curvaceous women.
Or so Chris de Beer says. That's why he places some of his artwork displays on pages torn from the logarithm books we remember. There has to be something to counterpoint the maleness of the jewellery he has created.
Jewellery is male? Yes, nothing is quite as it seems. Between the male and the female in anything there is a "littoral zone" – to use the phrase of Durban poet Douglas Livingstone – where things interact and interchange, and this zone is artistically highly productive.
I realise this might not be making a great deal of sense. It helps if the items on display are accompanied by a haiku, a Japanese free verse form which has 17 syllables strictly arranged in three lines – five, seven then five again - which is surely the most concise and densely expressive form of poetic emotion yet devised.
It was being conveyed this week at the St Clement's soiree where Chris and poet Mari Pete (they're staff colleagues at Durban University of Technology) presented Jewels of Haiku, in which Mari has provided the haikus for Chris's artwork display – and has put the whole lot on the internet (she's a computer whizz as well as a poet).
Mari's haikus are
So catchy that you find they're
What you want to do.
Chris and Mari are
The littoral zone and they
Produce splendidly.
But when Chris shows he's
Too male which he is then she
Gives him a good klap.
'Tis entertaining
And true this male and female
Counterpointation.
Help I'm locked in a
Haiku factory with a
Lewd logarithm.
Lost city
AMERICAN researchers believe they may have discovered an ancient city deep in the Honduran rainforest, which could be the legendary metropolis known as the City of Gold.
A three-dimensional mapping technique known as lidar has shown what appear to be ruins, including roads and building foundations, in the Mosquitia region.
It is in an area believed by some to be home to The White City which, according to legend, is a now-buried metropolis full of gold.
The Conquistadors searched for it in the 16th century and throughout the 20th century archaeologists documented mounds and other signs of ancient civilization in the region. However, so far the existence of the city has not been confirmed.
In the latest study, slow-flying planes travelled over the site, sending constant laser pulses towards the ground.
I hope they've got their co-ordinates right. This sounds very much like building work in progress at Nkandla (In which case the gold is for real).
Re-arrangement
NEWS from Australia. A couple had their car break down as they reached the parking lot at a supermarket in Brisbane, Queensland. Nothing the husband did could get it going again.
The wife took her shopping list into the supermarket to make her purchases while hubby sorted things out.
When she returned an hour or so later, a pair of hairy legs in black boxer shorts protruded from under the car. Bystanders were looking on with interest. Some were sniggering.
To her horror she saw that the black boxer shorts lacked the usual Y-fronts beneath. Everything was on display.
Hastily she knelt down, reached into the boxer shorts and rearranged matters into something approaching decency. Then when she stood up again, she found herself looking across the bonnet into her husband's face.
The mechanic from the Royal Automobile Club of Queensland required three stitches to his forehead.
JAMES Bond's Geiger-counter wristwatch from the film Thunderball has turned up at a car boot sale in England, where it was bought for £25 (R350). Now it's expected to fetch £60 000 on auction at Christie's, in London.
The watch plays a key role in the film as Bond uses it to find two Nato bombs stolen by the evil organisation, Spectre. It had disappeared years ago.
Tick, tick, tick! Each tick worth a quid.
New coach
TOM DENNEN notes that the Real Madrid coach has resigned. "They're gonna stick with the cheap, fake one, right?"
Tailpiece
"DOCTOR, doctor I've got this cricket ball lodged in my rectum."
"How's that?"
"Now don't you start!"
Last word
To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.
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