Confusion in Glenashley
THERE had been a change in venue, this voice over the telephone told me. Our rugby colloquium would be in a pub in Glenashley called The Cathouse.
The Cathouse? That seemed an odd name for a pub. Or had the colloqium's agenda been altered as well?
The Cathouse, the voice on the telephone told me firmly. He also gave directions how to get there.
Glenashley I have always found a confusing suburb. I was totally lost. And it's rather embarrassing to stop and ask strangers the way to The Cathouse. This woman pushing a pram had eyes like saucers and seemed to be turning over in her mind whether she should phone the police.
Eventually I found the place. It's called The Taphouse - and a most agreeable pub it is too. Cathouse indeed! These phone lines can be very buzzy.
New tactic
IN HIS LATEST grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener suggests that Sharks coach John Plumtree has adopted the training tactic, while on tour Down Under, of making the players jog to each end of the field to remind them what the tryline looks like.
Well, it seems to have worked – four tries and a bonus point against Waikato last Saturday. It should have been two bonus points and, with a little bit of luck and a little bit of that elusive rugby quality known as wakker skrik, we could actually have snatched the game after a disastrous start.
Keep studying that tryline, boys!
Ancient Rome
IF YOU LOOK at a map of the European Union, it's almost exactly the same as the map of the old Roman Empire. And, as my old pal and fellow-scribbler Tom Dennen points out, the Roman Empire continues to play through into the Space Age.
It happened this way. The US standard railroad gauge is 4 feet, 8.5 inches, an exceedingly odd number but that's the way they built them in England and English expats designed the US railroads.
The English build them like that because the first railway lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why?
Well, use any other spacing and the wagon wheels would break on some of the old roads in England because that's the wheel rut spacing of imperial Rome. So the US standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for a Roman war chariot. -
So remember next time you are handed a specification and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?" you might have the answer: Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two warhorses.
When you see a Space Shuttle on its launch pad, there are two big solid rocket boosters(SRBs) attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. They're made in Utah.
The engineers would have preferred to make the SRBs a bit fatter, but they had to be taken by train to the launch site. The line happens to run through a tunnel and the SRBs had to fit through.
The tunnel is just slightly wider than the railroad track and that, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' asses. So a major design feature of the world's most advanced transportation system was determined aboutt 2 000 years ago by the width of two horses' asses.
Ergo. Ancient horses' asses still control almost everything.
Tailpiece
Last word
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
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