Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Captain Cook, Friday, June 29

SUDDENLY it's cold turkey. After months of relentless Super Rugby, then a cracker of a three-Test series against England, tomorrow there's nothing on that directly concerns us.

What does one do? Find those American channels that specialise in women's wrestling? That can be entertaining, it's true, and there are some splendid gals in their lycra leotards and so forth, but I've always felt there's something stagey about it, not quite genuine. Why, for instance, do their boobs never pop out?

No, I believe that on a quiet weekend one's time is better spent admiring the rhythmic athleticism of the gals in our very own Thunder Bar and reflecting on where we are in Super Rugby and world rugby generally.

These days it needs an Einstein to work out the permutations of the Super log. It seems we get full points tomorrow for not playing and if we whack the Bulls and the Free State Cheetahs at home at King's Park the following two weekends, we're still in with a shout for the play-offs.

Well, neither is impossible. We should have beaten the Bulls in our first match away and we did beat Free State away. But beyond that the outlook is hazy. There are just too many permutations to even bother about it.

So the thing to do is focus on these two matches coming up and hope that tomorrow the Cheetahs give the Bulls such a runaround they'll be physically exhausted when they get down here next weekend.

At the recent tribute lunch for rugby personality Frans de Beer, Frans himself mentioned that one of the best coaches he ever encountered was Ian McIntosh. When Ian brought Rhodesia down to play in the Currie Cup (Frans was then coaching Natal), Mac kept three of the top Natal players out on the razzle until 3 am on the day of the match.

That's  crafty coaching. I wonder if Plummers would consider something along those lines? An exhausting match against Free State, followed a few days later by a marathon session in the Thunder Bar with Katinka and the gals?

"Bring zem on," she says, strumming at her well-known suspender belt. "Ve relax zem so goot, zey stay relaxed. Ze Blue Bool boys zey need ze rest anyvays." (Snap! Snap!).

But professionalism has changed the game. The McIntosh manoeuvre is not as easily set up as it once was, the players are kept in a kind of purdah. But it's still worth a shot.

Meanwhile, a lot of people seem disappointed by the Boks' performance against England. I don't quite agree. When you consider how Heyneke Meyer had to scratch together a side who'd never been together before, he did brilliantly. And don't under-estimate England. They're a potent side. In rugby you can play only as well as the opposition allows. There was great rugby from both sides, all the time. What more can you ask?

Over to Katinka: "Zat is past. Now ve must look to killa da Bools! Ole!"

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