No smelly feet
IT'S AS WELL to be familiar with the complexities of the law of libel. A little book titled Hatred, Ridicule or Contempt provides some thought-provoking examples of the law as it applies in England and Wales.
Written by Joseph Dean and published by Penguin, it analyses various cases. One - Plumb v Jeyes Sanitary Compounds Co Ltd – concerns a policeman who was on point duty on a hot summer's day in 1929.
When PC Plumb removed his helmet to mop his perspiring brow, an alert passing newspaper photographer snapped it and the photograph appeared in that evening's edition.
PC Plumb had no problem with this – in fact his family rather liked the picture. But six years later, and after he had retired from the police, the same picture appeared with an advertisement. It was captioned: "Phew! I am going to get my feet into a Jeyes Fluid foot-bath."
Elsewhere the advertisement extolled Jeyes Fluid as the answer to "smelly feet."
Former PC Plumb took umbrage at this. He did not have smelly feet, he insisted. He had suddenly become the butt of humour. He sued Jeyes Sanitary Compounds and was awarded damages of £100. (This was in the 1930s. A hundred quid in those days was a lot of dosh.)
What of our own police? They are accused of criminality in the highest places. Twenty of the Durban organised crime unit are arrested on charges including murder. Yet Martin Weltz, editor of Noseweek, says (in the Sunday Tribune) that this was a Hollywood-style circus. Are the police serious about fighting crime? Can they be when crime is their business?
Most alarming. But nobody seems to have suggested they have smelly feet.
Soup sandwich
GOOD news for gourmets. An exotic dish once served at Mick's Pie Cart, the late-night diner that used to operate near the old station, is making a come-back.
Recently this column mentioned the "soup sandwich" – sloppy curry between two slices of bread – in which Mick's specialised.
Now reader Dave James says the soup sandwich – with an egg on top, on request – is being served at Durban Country Club and Beachwood Golf Club.
The chef and kitchen staff have been persuaded – after much cajoling and initial giggling and disbelief – to serve the soup sandwich at the clubs' lunch bars.
"They are now able to produce this mouthwatering item on request, together with relishes such as chutney, sambals and dessicated coconut, to be applied at your own discretion.
"This well-remembered dish is becoming very popular at lunch time, particularly with the the Khehlas, a geriatric, early morning golfing group."
Mick's Pie Cart rides again!
Sweet failure
READER Gray Braatvedt shares with us his frustrations as a quality confectioner: "I wanted to make a fondant but I didn't have the right ingredients; so I fudged it."
| Hands-on OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "This guy tells me he can tell when I was born by holding my boobs. I say: 'You lie!' He says: 'You gotta believe me.' I say: ' OK, hold them.' He holds them. I say: 'So when was I born?' He says: 'Yesterday!'" |
Eurocrisis
THE EUROZONE crisis staggers on, coinciding with the European football championship.
British satirical magazine Private Eye has on its front cover a headline: "Spain in Euro shock"
Below is a heroically posed onfield shot of the Spanish football side, the front row crouching slightly.
Speech balloon from the crouching skipper: "Can someone lend us a ball?"
Sub-headline at foot of cover: "Final score: Germany wins! Everyone else loses!"
It's as good an analysis as any.
| Five facts HERE ARE FIVE incontrovertible facts: · You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time. It's a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck. · All suckers, after reading the above, will try it. · They will discover it is a lie. · They will smile sheepishly at having been caught for a sucker. · They will try to catch another sucker. |
Verboten
SIGN at a Bangkok temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man."
Tailpiece
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddie: "Try heaven sir, you've already moved most of the earth."
Last word
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.
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