This is Russia
GIVEN fairly recent history, it's not surprising that when 20 000 Russian fans arrive in Warsaw for a football match there could be a little aggro – especially when the wodka (as they call it there) starts flowing.
Poland is where the gimlet first started loosening up the masonry of first the Warsaw Pact, then the Soviet Union itself. In the Warsaw Pact days, the 20 000 arrivals could have been in uniform.
But when the Russian fans unfurled in the stadium a massive banner declaring "This is Russia" it was a little untactful.
At least two questions arise. The banner was vast, it seemed to cover almost a whole stand. Folded, it would need a small truck to carry it about. How on earth did the Russian fans manage to smuggle it into the stadium?
Also, it was written in Roman characters (which the Poles use), not Cyrillic (which the Russians use). And it was written not in Polish or Russian but in English.
Why? Who were those Russian fans trying to get their message to? Or is this just another example of Western cultural imperialism, English automatically becoming the international lingo?
But let's not get carried away. It was a great game, drawn, and most fans – on both sides – behaved themselves and were in high spirits (wodka?), nothing more.
La difference
RIAH Phiyega, the new national police commissioner, appears to be cut from a cloth completely different from her predecessor. A former businesswoman and parastatal executive, she lacks the gung-ho, "slap leather" flamboyance of General Bheki Cele.
Come to think of it, would she even welcome the rank of "general"? Would this not be a good time for the police service to revert to the non-military rankings that were part of the country's political transition and such a welcome break from the past?
Less brass, less swagger – that surely is the kind of police service we need.
Where next?
MEANWHILE, President Zuma says Cele still has much to offer. Where will he be deployed next?
He certainly has a rare talent. With his wide-brimmed hats, natty suits and gung-ho presence, he is a natural for the movies. Film-maker Anant Singh should offer him a contract without delay.
It would be sad indeed if Bheki Cele were to be re-involved in the tiresome machinery of government.
Monkey business
RECENTLY reader Val Johnson, of Kloof, described a well-mannered monkey that stole grapes from her kitchen. I remarked that he must have gone to Glenwood.
Now Val describes "monkey business" at last Saturday's drawn rugby match between Glenwood and Maritzburg College. She says a Glenwood try was scored from a forward pass; a College try in injury time was disallowed.
As a College boy trained to be dispassionate in such things and to accept the referee's decision without question, I make no comment.
Grrrr!
So sad
THE ENGLAND rugby squad took time out to visit an orphanage in Soweto.
"It was heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Sipho, aged six.
Changing role
PRIVATE Eye, the British satirical magazine, has published a Jubilee Special with a cover headlined: "How the role of the Queen has changed over the decades." It is illustrated with six photographs, the Queen ageing gradually.
One – captioned "50s" – shows the Queen waving. The next – "60s" shows the Queen waving; "70s" shows the Queen waving; "80s" shows the Queen waving; "90s" shows the Queen waving; and "Etc" shows the Queen waving.
Very funny. And if that's the most Private Eye have to say against the monarchy, it's the closest thing to a declaration of loyalty.
Tailpiece
THIS guy is single and has led a sheltered life. He lives with his widowed father and helps him run the family business. At an investment conference he meets a stunningly beautiful woman. "This is the girl for me," he thinks to himself.
He gets into conversation with her and lets it drop that he stands to inherit R500 million from his dad one day. She's impressed and asks for his card.
Three days later she's his stepmother. Women are so much better than men at financial planning.
Last word
Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.
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