Finance in perspective
IN VAIN do we wait for any kind of proper explanation of the paralysis of the international financial system. Was it really caused by a bunch of shyster traders? Was Karl Marx right all along about capitalism? Or did the bubble burst after decades of governments spending what they did not have? The learned economists are silent.
Yet here and there one gets a glimmer of understanding. Reader Eric Hodgson supplies some statistics from the United States and tweaks them to get them into a perspective we can all grasp. He tells us why the US credit rating was downgraded.
US tax revenue: $2 170 000 000 000
Federal budget: $3 820 000 000 000
New debt: $1 650 000 000 000
National debt: $14 271 000 000 000
Recent budget cuts: $38 500 000 000
Let's now remove eight zeros and pretend it's a household budget:
Annual family income: $21 700
Money the family spent: $38 200
New debt on the credit card: $16 500
Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142 710
Total budget cuts: $385
Oh boy!
Egyptology
THE ARMY seized power from King Farouk of Egypt in 1952. Ever since then it has been the power behind successive presidencies.
In the Arab Spring it stood by as Hosni Mubarak was toppled from power. Then it took direct control again.
In recent days Egypt voted for a new president, though without a constitution setting out what his powers will be.
Is the army about to stand down? Somehow I sphinx not.
Boskat Bohemia
ALARMING facts are beginning to emerge about last weekend's Varsity Rugby Day in Maritzburg, in aid of the Jes Foord Foundation. Not only were men playing against women, beer was being consumed on the field.
This was in a round robin pool between Alumni Over 40, the Varsity rowing crew and the ladies of Cedara Agricultural College, also known as the Boskatte.
The Boskatte were two players short so two well-known male desperadoes – identical twins Lambo and Rambo Lambert – made up the numbers.
So much beer was consumed that nobody can remember who won. Nor can they remember which changerooms Lambo and Rambo used. Did they share with the Boskatte? Nobody knows.
More rugby
STILL with rugby, here are some quotes to get us in the mood for tomorrow's match against the Stormers.
· "Rugby is great. The players don't wear helmets or padding; they just beat the living daylights out of each other and then go for a beer. I love that." - Joe Theismann
· "Beer and rugby are more or less synonymous." - Chris Laidlaw.
· "The advantage law is the best law in rugby because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.". - Derek Robinson
· :"For an 18-month suspension, I feel I probably should have torn it off. Then at least I could say: 'Look, I've returned to South Africa with the guy's ear.'" - Johan le Roux (After biting Sean Fitzpatrick's ear).
· "Every time I went to tackle him, Horrocks went one way, Taylor went the other, and all I got was the bloody hyphen." - Nick England, (On trying to stop Phil Horrocks-Taylor).
· "Don't ask me about emotions in the Welsh dressing room. I'm someone who cries when he watches Little House on the Prairie." - Robert Norster.
· "England's coach Jack Powell, an immensely successful businessman, has the acerbic wit of Dorothy Parker and, according to most New Zealanders, a similar knowledge of rugby." - Mark Reason.
· : "If you can't take a punch, you should play table tennis." -Pierre Berbizier (Following Scotland's accusations of French foul play).
· "Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth." - Tom O'Reilly.
Tailpiece
Elderly Frenchman in confessional: "Father, during World War II I hid a beautiful woman in my attic. She was being pursued by the Nazis."
Priest: "That is no sin, my son."
Elderly Frenchman: "I received sexual favours in return for hiding her."
Priest: "It was a difficult time. I am sure you will be judged kindly."
Elderly Frenchman: "Thank you, Father. Do you think I should tell her the war is over?"
Last word
Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood. - Henry Miller
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