Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Idler, Wednesday,DSeptember 19, 2018


extortion in

the Midlands


HOWICK'S resident theoretical physicist, Rob Nicolai, today lifts the lid on a sinister pornography/extortion racket.

"The latest online scammer threatened to release a video of me watching online porn unless I paid him $5 000 (R74 600) in Bitcoin.

"I have no webcam on my PC so unless the scammers have advanced stealthy spy drones, he was bluffing. "Anyway, I told him that $5 000 would use up all the earnings I'm currently getting from appearing in online porn, but if he wants to promote my videos I could give him a cut of the increased earnings from viewership fees.

"Online scammers are obviously getting desperate if they think people who watch online porn have a reputation that is worth expensive protection. I suppose all the fake lottery-winning scam e-mails are not working any more and scammers are getting vindictive."

A superb response, Rob. One wonders where the e-mail originated. It could have been anywhere – Moscow, New Delhi, Isipingo …

It could also have been from close by – Merrievale, Tweedie, The Dargle … one never knows these days.

In fact I hear disturbing rumours that events in America are likely to soon prompt vivid exposes of hanky-panky and kaaltit in the haylofts and cattle byres of the Midlands in days of yore, which was part of growing up in those benighted days.

Distressing times, yet we bear up with fortitude.


·       READER Clive Phelps is after information/experiences concerning the Volkswagen Beetle (sometimes known as "Hitler's Revenge") which was ubiquitous on our roads from the 1950s to a couple of decades on.

I myself did not own a Beetle, but I often raced them down the pavements of Maritzburg late at night in my Fiat Cub, after dining at Twiggy's Pie Cart.

The VW Beetle was a nifty vehicle indeed but the Fiat Cub had the advantage of being small enough to take short cuts down the pedestrian lanes of the CBD, where the lawyers hang out. The Fiat Cub had an open top and one night I had with me a most irresponsible fellow (he later played wing for Natal) who leaped up to swing on a lawyer's signboard, which then came crashing down on the car.

We hastened down the lane pursued by a nightwatchman with a knobkierie and a police whistle, but we easily outpaced him.

Ah, them wuz the days!

·       SPOT the contradiction.

Donald Trump persuades China to impose sanctions on North Korea as part of a campaign to encourage Kim Jong-un to denuclearise and join international polite society.

Donald Trump launches a trade war with China.



·       VLADIMIR Putin is  having a thin time of it these days.

The Salisbury poison attack – and the Russian response – has made his much-vaunted cloak-and-dagger service something of an international laughing stock, in spite of its evil.

Russians are out on the streets in their thousands in protest at his raising of the retirement age, meaning that many will receive a pension for a year or two at most before they shuffle off this mortal coil.

And now his bosom allies, the Syrian government forces, have shot down one of his military aircraft.

It's difficult to pin it all on the protest group, Pussy Riot.


PADDY is at the optician's.

"This is amazing, Paddy. Your eyesight seems to be improving.

"Ah, to be sure, to be sure, 'tis de luck of de Iris."


Last word

It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won't go.

Bertrand Russell

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