IT'S the Lions tomorrow at Kings Park, the last home pool game of the season and make or break if we're to get into the Currie Cup play-offs.
This is one we simply have to win. And let's put on the kind of display to show the Currie Cup still does count; that it's the breeding tank for our game nationally. It's not to be downplayed.
The strumming at their knickers by the damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties captures the general tension in the air as they ready themselves for the provision of elastic for the fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie in which the streetlights are shot out.
Down at the ground the Duikers' Club readies itself for the more decorous bok-bok and Cossack dancing that follows a win.
But there are the 80 minutes in which this has to be achieved. The Lions will be smarting after the way Western Province dished it to them last weekend and eager to claw their bay back. A wounded Lion is a dangerous Lion.
But we have it in us. Just hou kop, avoid the silly buggers stuff, don't kick away possesion, keep it ball-in-hand and tackle the way you have all season. Play as the Boks did last weekend. Don't give away penalties.
As Shakespeare put it in Henry V's pep talk before the Test against France at Agincourt:
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height …
Get all that right and it's a cinch. The gals at the Street Shelter will be unplayable. I say we'll moider da bums!
IF YOU think the White House is somewhat off the wall these days, try the Rabbit Hash unincorporated community in Kentucky.
Here the folk regularly elect a dog as mayor, though there have been challenges, one by an opossum and another by a jackass.
A popular mayor was a Border collie name Lucy-Lou who held the post for eight years, campaigning under the slogan "The bitch you can count on!"
There was talk of her also running for the presidency, according to Huffington Post, her owner and campaign manager, Bobbi Kayser, declaring in 2016 : "All the other presidential candidates are dogs. Why shouldn't a real one run?"
But nothing came of it unfortunately. Lucy Lou stepped down as mayor of Rabbit Hash, a pitbull named Brynneth Pawltro taking over.
Now, sad to say, Lucy Lou has died aged 12. Bobbi Kayser posted a tribute: "She was an astounding canine who brought joy to many more people than just her immediate family. I'm so proud to have known her and shared these short years on earth with her. Run free and easy, sweet girl. Momma loves you."
They do things different in Rabbit Hash, Kentucky.
Ian Gibson, poet laureate of Hillcrest, pens some hazy lines on the near-legalisation of dagga.
Guaranteed to bring universal bliss,
Is the substance called cannibis;
Dagga is its common name,
But its effect is just the same;
What could be better for us than this?
SCENE on a Margate hotel roof garden where the head waiter is speaking to a blonde lying on her tummy with a towel over her back.
"I agree, Madam, that you don't have to wear your bikini and you are covered by a towel. But you're causing a riot. You're lying on the dining room skylight."
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.