Der Fuhrer in India
SIEG heil! A figure dressed in khaki uniform and with a swastika armband appeared on the steps of India's parliament the other day, according to Sky News. He also had a glue-on moustache similar to Der Fuhrer's.
A recrudescence of Nazism, in India of all places? Well, not quite. The wearer of the regalia was Naramalli Sivaprasad, himself an MP whose party was once in coalition with Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
But they've fallen out - something to do with insufficient funding for his state, Andrha Pradesh – and Sivaprasad is given the theatrical expressions of displeasure. He's appeared in all kinds of strange costume on the steps of parliament to make his point.
Democracy is alive and well in India. So is theatre. I wonder, has Sivaprasad ever considered red overalls and red beret?
Millions, billions
READER Clive Phelps takes up recent discussion in this column of millions and billions. He notes that 20 years ago the government spoke only in millions.
"Nowadays, a million is small potatoes, and government officials steal or misappropriate millions of rands - even hundreds of millions
"Not many years ago, the government started talking in billions. (The Gautrain cost R34-billion; SOE's are being constantly bailed out for billions; the eThekweni Municipality needed R40 billion for their financial year). So today we talk routinely in billions of rands.) But how much is a billion?
"To understand a billion a bit better: A billion seconds ago, it was 1959; a billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive;.a billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age; a billion days ago, Man did not even exist!"
Clive says to visualise a billion rand, first imagine stacking fresh, new R200 notes until they reach the height of the chair you're sitting on. But that's just R1million. To get to a billion rand, one would have to stack them a kilometre high.
Clive would make a great minister of finance.
Anon wins
MORE FROM Rosemarie Jarski's Great British Wit. Topic: Alcohol.
· What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Brittania? – Rev Sydney Smith.
· I can't stand light. I hate weathyer.My idea of heaven is moving from one smoke-filled room to another. – Peter O'Toole.
· Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round'. The other one says: 'So are you, you fat bastard'. – Tommy Cooper
· On the chest of a barmaid in Sale
Were tattooed the prices of ale,
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in braille. – Anon
· A tavern chair is the home of human felicity. – Samuel Johnson.
· I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight and the copyright of a dying jockey's story. – Jeffrey Bernard.
· I only take a drink on two occasions – when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
· 'I love a martini' said Mabel
I only have two at the most.
After three I am under the table,
After four I am under the host.' - Anon
Kind words
PROLIFIC Durban poet Sarita Mathur has some kind things to say about the "ladies of the night":
· Ladies of The Night
· They too have a Life
· Sometimes,
· Husbands and children too
· However , circumstances dictate ,
· No control on their fate,
· They have mouths to feed
· Old parents as well,
· Free choice or destiny
· Ours is not to judge
· Can they overcome their fate
· Only time will tell
·
·
Tailpiece
WHAT'S the differrence between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Last word
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
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