Desecration at least reversed
EARLIER this week we discussed the Essex marshes, on the Thames estuary in England, in the context of Paul Gallico's novella, The Snow Goose, and my own experience of interviewing a hermit on the marshes.
Reader Andy Leyton also knows the marshes. He worked at an oil refinery bordering on the marshes and Canvey Island in the late seventies and early eighties, which was some years after I was there.
But he says in those days they'd started using the marshes as a rubbish tip for London. How disgraceful!
But here's the good news. They saw the error of their ways, stopped the dumping and have rehabilitated the marshes to being the haven for wildlife they had always been.
It shows, it can be done.
Estuary emergency
CANVEY Island, the Isle of Dogs … while we're with the Thames Estuary, another thrilling account.
A pal of mine was a junior officer in the merchant navy/ He was with a small line that had rather ancient steamers plying to ports in various parts of the world.
This particular ship had a speaking tube from the bridge to the engine room. To attract the attention of the engineer on watch you would blow a whistle into the tube. The engineer would then put his ear to the tube at his end to await instructions.
In the dark watches of the night, to relieve the tedium my pal would blow the whistle into the speaking tube. Then he would roll a marble down it. The engineer would put his ear to his end of the tube – to be hit in the lug by a marble. Hilarious!
He did it again a few days out from London – but this time the marble stuck in the speaking tube. The joke fell flat.
Next they were steaming slowly up the Thames estuary in full daylight. The Old Man (which is what they call the ship's captain in the merchant service) was on the bridge. My pal was operating the very ancient bridge telegraph, which sends messages to the engine room.
Now this Old Man had a quirk. He disliked pleasure boats and other small craft being in the vicinity and a damned nuisance. If he spotted any he would order "full ahead" to set up a bow wave and a wake to set the small boats bobbing about. Teach 'em a lesson. Then he would order "full astern" to slow down again.
Small boats came in view. "Full ahead!" My pal gave the signal to the engine room. The steamer surged ahead, a bow wave built up, the small boats were getting a rough time.
"Full astern!"
At which the bridge telegraph signalling thingummy-jig came off in his hand. And he suddenly recalled there was a marble blocking the speaking tube. Here was a steamer thundering up the Thames estuary at gathering speed.
My pal still had the bridge telegraph apparatus in his hand as he made it into the engine room in record time.
Yes, the Thames estuary. Drama all the way.
Wildfires
WHERE in the world these days is there not a wildfire raging? This is a product of global warming and dessication, the scientists say. We're headed for a global hothouse if we don't get our act together and halt the carbons we're pumping into the atmosphere.
And over in California – possibly the hottest spot – the fires are having a political boomerang effect, according to the New Yorker. Californians are blaming Donald Trump for not blaming Hillary Clinton.
"Californians were baffled by a series of tweets by Donald J. Trump in which he utterly failed to blame the state's current wildfires on Hillary Clinton."
Yes, this is satirist Andy Borowitz again. He doesn't miss a trick.
Tailpiece
A FELLOW goes into a bar with a golden retriever. He says to the barman: "If I can get my dog to talk, will you give me a drink?"
The barman sighs. "Go ahead, buddy."
The fellow says to the dog. "What's on top of your doghouse?"
"Roof!"
"That's not talkin', that's barkin!"
"What's sandpaper like?"
"Ruff!"
"That's still barkin'!"
"Who was the world's best baseballer ever?"
"Ruth!"
"That's also barkin'! Look I'm gettin' sick of you two, get outta here!"
Outside, the dog says: "D'ya think I shoulda said Di Maggio?"
Last word
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. - Leonardo da Vinci
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