Thursday, August 2, 2018

The Idler, Friday, August 3, 2018

Icebergs over the horizon


BRRR! There's been an icy wind blowing of late and the weather folk tell us it's going to get colder. It's those icebergs again, drifting northward just over the horizon.

You can always tell when the icebergs are adrift because you also find penguins frolicking in the surf. Vetch's Beach was positively alive with them yesterday.

Meanwhile, here's an interesting snippet. The Water Research Commission is to investigate a proposal for an iceberg to be towed to Cape Town from the Southern Ocean to relieve the water crisis.

The idea is that the iceberg should be anchored off the West Coast at Lambert's Bay. A saucer-like depression would then be scooped out of its surface, and into this would flow the natural melt of the iceberg. The water would then be pumped ashore through pipes, into reservoirs.

It is calculated that one towable iceberg of 80 million tons would last about a year, providing about 150 million litres of water a day.

The Water Research Commission has now asked salvage expert Nick Sloane – described as "the brains behind the project" – to set up a seminar where the idea could be explored in detail.

I'm delighted for Nick and all involved. But, er, in all due humility I have to point out that the idea of towing an iceberg to Cape Town was first expressed in this column. Nevertheless, I'm glad to share.

It's causing great interest. The United Arab Emirates – that's Dubai and the rest – are watching what happens at Cape Town and would like to themselves start towing icebergs to the Gulf if it works.

So chilly times could lie ahead here in KZN – a procession of icebergs across the horizon and more and more penguins on our beaches.


Splish splash

A VAN driver in Canada has been sacked for driving deliberately through puddles and drenching pedestrians

It happened during a storm in Ottawa. The driver was videoed deliberately veering towards large puddles and splashing people. A clip appeared online and has had hundreds of thousands of viewings, according to Sky News.

But the driver's employers, a building firm, fired him saying his actions were "unacceptable".

I suppose not. But is there not also an Orwellian ring to this? The internet is changing our lives in more ways than we imagine.

Pussy Riot

The four Pussy Riot punk protesters who were jailed for invading the pitch during the Football World Cup final in Moscow have been released – then re-arrested, according to the BBC.

A Pussy Riot official tweet says they have now been charged with "the organisation and holding of public events without prior notice". They could face another 10 days behind bars.

Previously they had been jailed for infringing the rights of spectators plus impersonating police.

It all sounds very fussy and technical. Could it be that the authoritarian Russian regime is suppressing dissent with dollops of tedium? I suppose it's better than the Siberian gulags.



MORE from Rosemarie Jarski's Great British Wit. Topic: Politics and Government.

·       Politics is the art of making the inevitable seem planned. - _ Quentin Crisp

·       We have a system of government with the engine of a lawnmower and the brakes of a Rolls Royce. – Jonathan Lynn

·       There's as much chance of my becoming prime minister as there is of finding Elvis on Mars or my being decapitated by a frisbee or being reincarnated as an olive. – Boris Johnson

·       The main essentials of a prime minister are sleep and a sense of history. – Harold Wilson

·       Above any other position of eminence, that of prime minister is filled by fluke. – Enoch Powell

·       Definition of a politician:He is asked to stand, he wants to sit, he is expected to lie – Winston Churchill

·       To reach the top a politician has to conform to the popular image of the bookie or the clergyman. – Malcolm Muggeridge

·       Present policies are leading us to the status of a banana republic that has run out of bananas. – Richard Marsh




PADDY arrives at work with a thermos flask.

"What you got there, Paddy?"

"It's a termos flask. It keeps hot tings hot and cold tings cold.

"What you got in it?"

"Two cups of coffee and a choc ice."


Last word


Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

Frank Zappa


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