Long-standing links
YESTERDAY'S front page photograph of Cyril Ramaphosa with Queen Elizabeth at Windsor Castle before the Commonwealth Heads Of Government Meeting recalls the personal links she has with South Africa.
It was in Cape Town that the Queen – then a princess – swore her oath of loyalty to the Commonwealth when she turned 21. It was during the royal tour of 1947.
One imagines she would have followed with some interest and concern the ructions that preceded Ramapohosa's elevation to the presidency.
Meanwhile, in an address to a Commonwealth Youth Forum, British Prime Minister Theresa May described the multi-nation organisation as unique.
"No other organisation can rival both our geographical and cultural diversity while giving all nations an equal role, an equal voice and equal standing.
"From small tropical islands to the vast Arctic tundra, from nations of just a few thousand people to countries that are home to hundreds of millions, the modern Commonwealth is a snapshot of the world at large."
Quite true. Also true is that South Africa is a snapshot of that snapshot – people of African, Asian and European origin; a mixture of the developed and the developing worlds.
The main Commonwealth shindig starts today. We hope nobody is indelicate enough to raise ball-tampering in cricket.
Mystique
ELIZABETH is queen of 16 Commonwealth countries – head of state, the position hereditary. Elsewhere she is "Head of the Commonwealth". Does Prince Charles eventually take over that role? It's not automatic, not quite clear.
But the smart money has it that he will. There's nothing a republican likes better than the mystique of monarchy.
Angry Brock
PORTIONS of a 16th century Scottish castle had to be closed to the public last week because they have been taken over by a "very angry badger".
The tunnel at Craignethan Castle was considered especially dangerous for any human meeting up with the cheesed-off badger in that enclosed space, according to Huffington Post.
The badger had wandered in from nearby forest, said Historic Scotland, which manages the property. It dug through loose soil and stonework.
Built in 1530, Craignethan is noted for its fortifications, which were built to protect it from artillery and considered ahead of their time. But it seems it's not badger proof.
What made the badger so angry? We're not told. Perhaps he'd been watching First Minister Nicola Sturgeon on TV. Badgers are notorious male chauvinists.
We're not told if he was wearing a kilt.
Drop-out
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "This fellow I know had to drop out of medical school. Really tragic. He wanted so much to be a doctor but he couldn't stand the sight of cash."
Plastic-eater
PLASTICS are choking our oceans. Plastic bags, wrappers, bottles and drinking straws are carelessly thrown away. They flow down the gutters, into the rivers and from there into the sea.
They are choking marine life. Tiny granules are entering the food chain, of which we are a part. Plastic doesn't biodegrade, it's there forever. It threatens to choke the entire planet.
Except here's hope. Scientists in Portsmouth, England, have discovered a naturally occurring enzyme that eats plastic bottles. They believe PETase (from the PET plastic used in bottles) can be fine-tuned to chomp all kinds of plastic.
And here's something absolutely intriguing. Some of the scientists believe the enzyme developed as a response to the presence of plastics.
If that is true, how marvellous are the forces of nature. Something built in to counter the excesses of humanity. Makes ya think!
Congrats!
RACONTEUR Spyker Koekemoer (aka Pat Smythe) turned 65 this week, a noteworthy occasion.
"The first message I received on my phone was from Clientele Life, suggesting I buy a funeral policy."
Happy Birthday!
Tailpiece
THIS fellow is in a seafood restaurant. A sign reads: "Lobster tails R10 each." He says to the waitress: "These must be very small tails if you're selling them so cheap."
"No, she says. "They're normal size."
"Then they have to be pretty old."
"They're fresh today."
"There has to be something wrong with them."
"No, they're just regular lobster tails."
"Okay, I'll have one."
The waitress takes his money, sits him down at a table and says: "Once upon a time there was a big red lobster …"
Last word
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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