Sunday, April 22, 2018

The Idler, Monday, april23

More Washington cabaret

IS THIS a stunt or is it for real? The Democratic National Committee, in the US, is suing the Russian government, the Trump campaign and WikiLeaks, accusing them of a wide-ranging conspiracy to interfere in the 2016 presidential election to defeat Democrat Hillary Clinton.

The Russian government is located in the Kremlin. Will the lawsuit be served on it there?

How do you serve a lawsuit on something as nebulous as a campaign?

Wikileaks is holed up in the Ecuadorean embassy in London. It's been there five and a half years under political asylum and is probably impermeable to lawsuits.

On the other hand, perhaps lawsuits are the answer. In that case the Brits and the French missed a trick in 1939.

They should have just sued the pants off Adolf Hitler when he invaded Czechoslovakia. It would have saved a lot of botheration.

 

We had it first

'TIS gratifying to have one's predictions in the realm of international affairs so readily confirmed.

Last week this column said Brexit had reached its definitive fault line over the question of the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.

Sure enough, the EU over the weekend rejected the UK's suggestions for the Irish border.

Also last week, we predicted that Prince Charles will eventually become Head of the Commonwealth, even though it's not automatic.

Sho' nuff, that's what the Commonwealth Heads of Government decided unanimously at the weekend.

President Trump and Kim Jong-un (The Young 'Un)? Long-range forecasts for the July Handicap?

Watch this space!

Meeting of …

MEANWHILE, momentum toward a summit between Trump and Kim appears to be gathering. It could mean a breakthrough for lasting peace on the Korean peninsula; for a reduction in tensions with the US that could otherwise have dire consequences.

One thing is certain: It would be a meeting of the world's two worst haircuts.

Thriller

What a thrilling and inspiring game this Stormers encounter was. Thrilling in the sense of closeness of the result. Inspiring in the way the Sharks picked themselves up off the deck after last week's disaster and showed what they're made of. We're still in the hunt.

A dour game, some say. Lots of forward play, little sparkle in the threequarters. Yes, it was dour. Lots of ferocious backline tackling by both sides. But this is rugby, not ballet.

Psychologically, this is exactly the right thing for the Sharks going forward. They can do it. Ole, ole, ole!

Black, blue, purple

SHOULD our rugby administrators not turn their minds to colour contrast?

At Kings Park on Saturday night the Sharks were in black. The Stormers were in a blue that showed very dark under the lights. The jerseys (and pants) were barely distinguishable.

There was also a fellow gesticulating continually. Ah, that was the ref, wearing purple. He could have been another player.

It probably wasn't that bad down on the field. But in the stands it took a lot of guesswork. Confusion should not be added to concern.

Home fires burning

INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter that President Cyril came home early from the Commonwealth meeting, presumably to put out actual and figurative fires.

"Some of the most severe conflagrations are the result of dire local and provincial leadership. Instead of renaming airports, government needs seriously to curtail provincial and 'traditional' power structures.

"These are costly anachronisms unsuited to a modern state, providing cover for incompetent paper shufflers and disguise for large scale larceny.

"Halving the public service wage bill will trigger social upheavals registering at least 10 on the Richter Scale. But it will allow for massive reductions in tax rates, which in turn will encourage entrepreneurship and self-help capacity."

Greener also notes that the King of Swaziland is so sick of his country being mistaken for Switzerland that henceforth our neighbour is to be known as eSwatini.

"It's hard to see where the confusion arises though."

 

Tailpiece

PADDY goes for a job interview. His friends ask him afterwards how it went.

"To be sure, it was goin' swimminly, no problems at all. I was doin' very well.

"But den dey asked to see my testimonials. And dat's when I made my big mistake."

 

Last word

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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