The Lamborghini coefficient
SHOCKING data comes in to illustrate the skewness of wealth distribution in South Africa. The Lamborghini coefficient – an index derived from the Gini coefficient which measures cash inequalities between the haves and the have-nots – suggests that localities such as Nkandla still have significantly less Lamborghinis than, say, Sandton.
The name "Lamborghini" is chosen as a convenient symbol. It in fact covers all sorts of luxury vehicles, from BMWs to Mercs to Maserattis to Hummers – the sort of vehicle the less privileged call a nyanyavu.
Ideally, the Lamborghini coefficient should stand at zero, meaning the number of Lamborghinis per capita in Nkandla is the same as in Sandton, Constantia and La Lucia. But the latest number crunching suggests that although there has been an appreciable increase in Lamborghini ownership in the Nkandla district in recent times, an imbalance persists.
Professor Bentley Ferrari, statistician in charge, says the exercise has had its challenges. The Lamborghini coefficient in La Lucia, for instance, seems to surge in both directions, the changes coinciding at times with court orders. This can make accurate calculation difficult.
"What we can say with confidence is that the Lamborghini coefficient shows a definite trend toward zero, which would mean the same number of luxury vehicles per capita in Nkandla as in the more traditional centres of wealth, but we still have a long way to go.
"In this context, the initiatives around Nkandla are more than welcome – the high-speed autobahn to Pofadder; the Le Mans-style racing circuit in the Nkandla forest; the Nkandla Grand Prix through the village centre, that is going to take over from Monaco. All nudge the Lamborghini coefficient in the right direction but it will take time."
At least the trend is right. We'll get there. One man, one nyanyavu!
Sixties soccer
FORMER sportswriter Ianthe Exall recalls in verse those pulsating days of professional soccer in the sixties:
Remember those Durban derbies
In the days of New Kingsmead,
When football was compelling
And the players a different breed?
When United took on City
There was not an empty space
And Castle Corner raised the roof
When the teams came face to face.
Some fans were dressed in green and white
And some in white and blue,
Whichever team they followed
They were soccer fans through and through.
There was gentleman Les salton
And dashing Dan Le Roux,
Bustling Bobby Chalmers
And "Twiggy" Exall too.
The goalies were the hard men
And I can name a few
Who thrilled the crowds week after week,
Saving shots from getting through.
Lightening, Ryder, Wootten,
Grierson and Hartmann too,
Goalies from those games long past
Played football strong and true.
There also were the brothers,
So lauded by their fans,
The Petersons, the Barratts,
The Barkers and the Manns.
And then there were the managers
Well known throughout the town,
Norman Elliot - the Silver Fox-
And gentleman Topper Brown.
Week after week the men of words
Waxed lyrical in their papers.
They covered all the matches
And described the players' capers.
Reg Wright ,Fred Forge,
Reg Sweet, Ed Gray,
Each with their special style,
With Mike Bradbury and John Holliday
They went the extra mile.
Although they brought the games to life
With words that painted pictures,
The "cartoon men", Leyden and Lund,
Were drawing all the fixtures!
There were many, many players,
Far too numerous to name,
Who played their hearts out for their clubs
And for the love of the Beautiful Game!
Many of them were local
And some came from abroad,
And it's thanks to each and every one
That football was adored.
Wow, what a dose of nostalgia! Reg Sweet, Fred Forge, Mike Bradbury, John Holliday – how well I knew them all. And, of course, the incomparable Jock Leyden.
Let's get back to that sort of football – boost Bafana!
Tailpiece
REUB is being interviewed by the sheriff for the job of deputy.
"Reub, what's one and one?"
"That's 11."
Hey, thinks the sheriff.
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
Hey again. Thinking out the box!
"Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
"Sheriff, ya got me there."
"Reub, you go home and work on that one a while."
Reub bounces into the poolroom. "Hey, I got the job! First day and I'm on a murder case!"
Last word
I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
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