Crescendo in the CBD
I'M TOLD there were wild scenes in the CBD last week as classical music fans erupted in disorder following a concert in the city hall.
They spilled out into a marquee opposite, where intoxicating liquor – champagne – was served. Then they went on to dance and make merry, oblivious to the stony stares of Queen Victoria, General Smuts, Sir Theophilus Shepstone and Sir John Robinson, first prime minister of Natal and founder of this newspaper.
The orgy of misbehaviour – which has shocked the punk rock and heavy metal communities, not to mention the Hell's Angels – was sparked by a rendition in the city hall of the little-heard Concerto Militaire, violin cello and orchestra in G Major by cellist Allesandro Crudele.
A sign of the trouble to come was when the audience of about 2 000 leaped to their feet and noisily refused to allow the musician to leave the stage without an encore.
Things went from bad to worse. As celebrations in and around the marquee gathered pace, decadent rock 'n roll music from the 1950s was to be heard. The blue rinse brigade were in a dangerous mood.
What caused this eruption of near-anarchy in the heart of the city? A psychologist who specialises in social dynamics explains it this way: "The rowdies belong to what we call an uberkultur. This cultural group has been marginalised, ignored and alienated over the past decade or so. It does not feel part of the contemporary regime of iPods, celebrity worship, discord and general trashiness. It feels great resentment over issues such as the deterioration of the city hall organ.
"It harks back to a dimly remembered era in which its values were recognised and supported by those in authority. Every so often it will be sparked into a frenzy by something like the Concerto Militaire, and then its members will take to the streets in frustration. Then anything could happen."
Scary stuff!
Cliffy Brown
WHO SHOULD I encounter in a Berea hostelry the other evening but Cliffy Brown, prolific points-scorer for the Natal rugby side in the 1980s. Cliffy, who played wing, went on to play for Northern Transvaal.
Then he went to the US to play American football – gridiron, as we usually call it. He turned out with great success for the New Orleans Saints, about the same time Naas Botha tried his luck with the Dallas Cowboys.
But it's an odd system they have in gridiron. A field goal kicker is exactly that. He gets called onto the field to take kicks at goal, then leaves. Cliffy says he was spending an average 45 seconds a game on the field. It's not quite the real thing after Currie Cup rugby.
So, even though he was rated highly successful in gridiron, he returned to South Africa.
What's Cliffy doing now? He's painting, that's what. Cliffy always was a graphic artist, illustrator and cartoonist. Now he's wielding the brushes with real purpose: portraits, traditional and contemporary; still life; harbour scenes; surrealism – he's going for it all.
Cliffy plans to stage his first exhibition in a month or so. If he paints anything like he kicks, he surely has it made.
Gone pfishin'
OH DEAR. It seems that when I puzzled earlier in the week about being e-mailed by banks - where I have no account - insisting that I update my internet banking security arrangements or have the facility suspended, I was in fact the target of "pfishers" who seek my banking details for nefarious purposes, namely burgling my account.
I'm obliged for this advice to reader Greg Ash, who warns that nobody should ever divulge banking details over the internet because real banks never ask for them.
Of course – how naïve of me. One is tempted to reply to such communications by referring them to bugsbunny@brerrabbit://songsofthesouth/uncle-remus-stories.com just to keep them occupied for a bit. But it's not advisable. You might end up with a 20-year subscription to comic books or weekly Uncle Remus videos for the rest of your life. It's safer just to delete.
It's a minefield out there.
Tailpiece
"I bought my mother-in-law a Jaguar."
"I thought you didn't like her."
"I don't. It's bitten her twice already."
Last word
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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