The arms deal and Lady MacBeth
WE LIVE in a globalised world, and here comes evidence of one of its major benefits. Our own investigators – notably the so-called Hawks – have run into a brick wall in their investigation of alleged mega-scale corruption associated with the R47-billion Arms Deal. The trail has gone cold. So they call off the search. Nothing more can be done.
Yet here the hounds give tongue again. The Accountancy and Actuarial Discipline Board in Britain has launched its own investigation into kickbacks said to have been paid to South African figures in connection with the BAE aircraft contract. The sum of R1 billion is mentioned, and the South Africans involved will be named.
So the Hawks and the others will presumably be able to take up their investigation again. Hurrah for globalisation! Without it the trail would remain cold, our leaders frustrated and unable to punish the wicked.
As Lady MacBeth said: "Murder will out."
Don't bank on it
WE HAVE a banking system that leads the world, I'm told. Apparently it's because we have a vibrant first world sector which is small enough to be easily manageable. For that reason, new banking services are given a trial run here before they are taken to the rest of the world.
It's nice to know. Yet I've had e-mails from two major banks telling me I need to update the security of my internet banking facilities, failing which they will be suspended.
Except I don't have an account with either of those banks, and have never had - let alone internet banking facilities. I suppose I just have to put up with suspension
But it makes you a little uneasy. Why has my bank not contacted me? Is it fast asleep or is it busy contacting the clients of other banks?
It recalls the story of the airline passengers being addressed by a robot voice: "This flight is navigated and piloted by computer. Nothing can go wrong ... can go wrong ... can go wrong ..."
HMS Otus
A BARNACLE-encrusted member of the Durban Undersea Club has approached me with an appeal for information about the scuttling of the British submarine HMS Otus (N92) off the Bluff soon after World War II.
It is believed Otus was scuttled in 1946. It seems she might have been decommissioned and sold into private ownership before this happened, though why a private owner would scuttle his vessel rather than sell it for scrap is not clear.
The DUC think they have located the wreck (if that's the right word for a vessel that was deliberately sunk) and intend exploring it. They would be grateful for any information about Otus and especially for any pictures of the scuttling.
Does anyone out there have more information?
Sleaze-rag
THINGS are getting a bit sticky for British prime minister David Cameron's communications director, Andy Coulson. He's now been interviewed by the fuzz over allegations that, while editor of the News of the World, he knew his reporters were illegally hacking into people's telephone conversations. One went to jail for it.
Coulson protests his innocence. He knew nothing about his reporters indulging in such villainy. Of course not. People who regularly resort to entrapment – secretly filming individuals agreeing to dodgy deals in return for cash, then splashing it in the paper – would never dream of such a thing.
The real question is why Cameron should have chosen somebody from a sleazy red-top tabloid. It's like recruiting from Wormwood Scrubs for a post on the police selection board.
Coulson and the News of the World recall the lines of Hilaire Belloc:
You can never hope to bribe or twist
Thank God the British journalist.
But considering what the man will do
Unbribed there's no occasion to.
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Tailpiece
A MAN is walking unsteadily down the street in the early hours.
Policeman: "And where would you be going, sir?"
Pedestrian: "I'm on my way to listen to a lecture about the physiological effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body."
Policeman: "Really? And who's going to give such a lecture at this hour?"
Pedestrian:"My wife."
Last word
A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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