A paper
that stays
way ahead
"MERCURY to make rare transit of the sun". So read our front page headline yesterday.
I must say I wasn't aware of it, but it doesn't surprise me. This newspaper has always been ahead of the pack. We reported the Ladysmith beauty contest that nobody won. Stand by for an Idler's column from outer space.
Oh no, silly me! It's the planet Mercury that's made a transit of the sun, and it actually happened yesterday. It hasn't done this since 2016, according to the Durban Chapter of the Astronomical Society of Southern Africa, and it will happen again only in 2032.
The planet Mercury apparently was visible as a black dot between 2.30 and 6pm through a telescope set up at St Henry's Marist College – with the correct filters and a solar scope - but unfortunately I missed that.
Stand by for an Idler's column from Vetch's beach.
Brits downgrade
DOES this make us feel better? Moody's, the ratings agency, has put Britain in a "negative" category, which could be precursor to a downgrade.
Moody's cites the "increasing inertia and, at times, paralysis that has characterised the Brexit-era policy-making process" in stamping a negative outlook on the country's rating.
Rival credit ratings companies Fitch and S&P have already put the UK on negative credit watch.
Does this mean the Brits are, like us, hovering just above junk status? Er, not quite.
For now, the UK's rating remains in the second tier of developed countries at Aa2, similar to South Korea and France, but below the top notch Aaa ratings Moody's assigns to the US and Germany.
But negative outlook all the same. Is the Brexit distraction beginning to cost? Maybe our Eskom board could lend a hand.
Dollars, dollars …
MULTI-BILLIONAIRE and former New York mayor, Michael Bloomberg has joined the American presidential race. According to the New Yorker, he's already offered Donald Trump $10 billion to leave the White House "by the end of the day".
"I will deposit $10 billion dollars into your account in Moscow, Riyadh, or wherever you do your banking these days," Bloomberg announced. "All you have to do is go."
In addition to the $10 billion offer, Bloomberg told Trump he would cover the moving expenses of Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Kellyanne Conway, and any other associates "that you haven't already gotten rid of."
On Capitol Hill, congressional Democrats expressed sadness that Bloomberg's offer, if successful, would eliminate the need for impeachment, which many of them had been looking forward to.
But Representative Adam Schiff of California struck a more philosophical note. "If 10 billion dollars gets rid of Donald Trump, that's a quid pro quo I'm okay with," he said.
Yes, this is satirist Andy Borowitz having fun again.
Tailpiece
A FEMINIST climbs aboard a crowded bus. An old gent gets up out of his seat, and she forces him down again.
"Sit down, you silly old fool!" she says. "I can look after myself."
He tries again but she forces him down again.
"Don't give me your old-fashioned patriarchal gallantry. I will not be patronised. The sexes are now equal."
He tries yet again. She takes him in a half-nelson.
"Now listen, you stubborn old duffer. Times have changed. I don't need your hypocritical, demeaning attitude toward the so-called fairer sex."
"Lady – all I want is to get off the bus!"
Last word
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities. Frank Lloyd Wright
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