Thursday, November 14, 2019

The Idler, Friday, November 15, 2019

Bojo gets

a blast on

etiquette

ARE the Brits suffering Brexit battle fatigue? How else do you explain the sudden row over the way prime minister Boris Johnson makes a cup of tea?

Bojo appeared in a video clip on social media making himself a cuppa while on the election stump. He put in a tea bag – then poured in milk before taking out the bag.

This "sinful" action led to a deluge of comments on tea-time etiquette, according to Sky News.

One viewer wrote on Facebook: "Anyone else annoyed by the fact that he put the milk in whilst the tea bag was still in?"

"O-o-o-o-h, I could never vote for someone who does that."

"Needs to get rid of that filthy habit … take the bag out first"

"Our actual prime minister doesn't know how to make a cup of tea. Just how low can we possibly sink?"

But then a stream of Bojo loyalists rallied, insisting that the only way to drink tea is with milk in the cup while the teabag's still there.

The pundits and election analysts are still to give their verdict on the significance of this incident.

We need to be understanding. The Brits clearly are suffering Brexit shellshock.

 

 

Gastronomic foray

A RECIPE book lands on my desk. It's titled Stirring Up Memories and, to my great astonishment, it's written by Chris Taylor, a stalwart of the Natal Cricket Society who meet regularly in the Kingsmead Mynahs Club, at the ground.

I'd no idea Chris was a gastronome but here's the evidence – 90-odd pages of recipes for soups, noodles, curries and other dishes, some of them credited to his good lady, Tookie. It's mouth-watering stuff.

And Chris is most thorough. What's a good meal without a liqueur? He tells us how to make Naartjie Liqueur (1 bottle brandy, 360g rock candy/coffee crystals, peel of 10 naartjies, chip of nutmeg, 5 cloves, 2 sticks cinnamon); also Coffee Bean Liqueur (40 coffee beans, 2 oranges, 40 cubes white sugar, 1 bottle vodka).

I've no idea whether the book is for sale, or where, but I do think Chris ought to cook up the grub for the next meeting of the Natal Cricket Society. I fancy Tookie's Devilled Chicken, washed down with Naartjie Liqueur.

 

 

Wiring gone wrong

MORE from Rosemarie Jarski's Great British Wit. Topic: Dance.

·       I'm a great dancer and I love to dance. When I had my fiftieth birthday party the last tune they played was Boney M's Ra Ra Rasputin.  I thought right, let's really go for it, so there I was, swinging and moving until I got this terrible pain in my chest and I thought, dear God, I'm going to die on the dance floor, but what a great way to go, it's been a fantastic party. And when I came off the dance floor, I discovered I'd broken my underwired bra. – Clarissa Dickson-White.

·       She clapped me to her bosom and pushed me on to the dance floor. It was like being lashed to an upholstered pneumatic drill. – Richard Gordon.

·       I'm a dancer trapped in the body of a tree. – Ardal O'Hanlon.

·       Have you seen the price of ballet tickets? That's a lot to see buggers jump. – Nigel Bruce.

 

 

Tailpiece

THE telephone rings in the police station.

"Police? I want to report a burglar in a nymphomaniac's bedroom?"

"Who's this calling?"

"This is the burglar."

 

Last word

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln

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